Trial Day 26 – March 4th, 2013 [REPLAY]

26 Comments

1. (doing the happy dance)

   WOOHOO!!!! I’m first!
   Good morning people! Happy Sunday!
   I love you all and I LOVE my Jodi !!!!!

   • Yay Maria! -Happy Sunday! (IT’S my twins bday today (19) WOW!!! LOL
     Have A great Day!!
     Madeline

     • Happy B-day to your twins! ♥ ♥ ♥
       I hope you’ll have a great time!

       • Ty, I had them at 20 yrs young. Seems like yesterday. Unbelievable. =)

         • ((((Jodi))))
           Sorry about your grandfather.
           ((((Sending my love ))))
           Madeline =(

       • Yes, give them a Birthday HUG for us!!!!

     • Happy Birthday to your twins!

   • Happy Sunday (((((MARIA))))) congrats on first!……….I wish there was more I could do for Jodi and her family 🙁

     (((((JODI)))))
     (((((THE ALLEN / ARIAS FAMILY)))))
     (((((CYBER FAMILY)))))

     Pray that God give our Angel the strength to get through this sad time ♥

     Ray in Harrisonburg Virginia,

   • Yeah Maria! I know you are celebrating!

   • Maria, your happy first dances are OVER! I’m back baby… 😉

     But just to be a good sport: congrads girl! ♥

     Love Jodi and you too

     ((((Jodi)))
     (((Maria)))

2. (hey, the site just ”ate” my post, gonna have to re-write it)

   Cyber family,
   I need to ask you a favor. As you probably already know Jodi’s grandfather died yesterday. The family wasn’t able to share the news with jodi but they will today, eventually.

   I want you to please say an extra prayers for the family and ESPECIALLY Jodi, who will be dealing with this all alone in her cell. You can also ask Archangel Michael to go and give her the strength to go through this.

   (((((((( JODI ♥ )))))))))

   • (sorry for the typos, I wrote it hurriedly)

     • [Just curious] about the letter Jodi sent to TA’s family (while in jail) Did the family ever show court the letter?

   • Thoughts & prayers go out to Jodi & her family.

   • Oh my! I didn’t know about Jodi’s grandfather! How sad. Thank you for sharing Maria!!!!!! I will pray for them all during this hard time. It just seems they have toooooo much to deal with. Just not fair. ((((((JODI)))))))

   • Maria, I sent all my positive energy to Jodi and her family in this time of pain. I wish there was a way to hug Jodi.

     (((((JODI))))

3. A friend of mine who works as an advocate against domestic abuse and is a rape survivor sent me a link via email which shows the cycle of violence in domestic abuse:

   Abuse-The abusive partner lashes out with aggressive, belittling, or violent behavior. It’s a power play designed to let you know “who is boss”.

   Guilt-After abusing you, your partner feels guilt, but not over what he or she has done. They’re more worried about the possibility of getting caught and facing consequences for his/her abusive behavior.

   Excuses-The abuser rationalizes what he/she has done. They may come up with a string of excuses for their abuses or blame you for the abusive behavior-anything to avoid taking responsibility.

   “Normal” behavior-The abuser does everything that he/she can to regain control and keep the victim in the relationship. They may act as if nothing has happened, or he/she may turn on the charm. Sound familiar? This peaceful honeymoon phase may give the victim hope that the abuser has really changed this time.

   Fantasy and planning-The abuser begins to fantasize about abusing you again. He/she spends a lot of time thinking about what you’ve done wrong and how he’ll make you pay. Then he makes a plan for turning the fantasy of abuse into reality.

   Set-up-The abuser sets you up and puts his/her plan in motion, creating a situation where he/she can justify abusing you.

   The abuser’s apologies and loving gestures in between episodes of abuse can make it difficult to leave. He/she may make you believe that you are the only person who can help him/her, that things will be different this time, and that he truly loves you. However, the dangers of staying are quire real.

   Here’s another example of domestic violence:

   A man abuses his partner. After he hits her, he experiences self-directed guilt. He says, “I’m sorry for hurting you.” What he doesn’t say is “Because I might get caught.” He then rationalizes his behavior by saying that his partner is having an affair with someone. He tells her “If you weren’t such a worthless whore I wouldn’t have to hit you.” Again, sound familiar? He then acts contrite, reassuring her that he will not hurt her again. He then fantasizes and reflects on past abuse and how he will hurt her again. He plans on telling her to go to the store to get some groceries. What he withholds from her is that she has a certain amount of time to do the shopping. When she is held up in traffic, and is a few minutes late, he feels completely justified assaulting her because “you’re having an affair with the store clerk”. He has just set her up.

   Here are the general warning signs of domestic abuse that can usually tell when people are being abused:

   Seem afraid or anxious to please their partner
   Go along with everything their partner says and does
   Check in often with their partner to report where they are and what they’re doing
   Receive frequent, harassing phone calls, text messages or emails from their partner
   Talk about their partner’s temper, jealousy or possessiveness

   Also, when people think of domestic abuse, they usually picture battered women who have been physically assaulted. However, not all abusive relationships involve violence. Just because you’re not battered and bruised on the outside doesn’t mean you’re not being abused. Many men and women suffer from emotional abuse, which is no less destructive. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is frequently minimized or overlooked-even by the person who is being abused.

   The motive of emotional abuse is to chip away at one’s feelings of self-worth and independence. If you’re a victim of emotional abuse, you might feel that there is no way out of the relationship or that without your abusive partner you are nothing.

   Emotional abuse includes verbal abuse such as yelling, name-calling, blaming and shaming. Isolation, intimidation, and controlling behavior also fall under emotional abuse. Consequently, abusers who use emotional or psychological abuse often throw in threats of physical violence or other repercussions if you don’t do what they want.

   People might think that physical abuse is far worse than emotional abuse, since physical abuse can send one to the hospital and leave you with visible scars. But, the scars of emotional abuse are very real, and they run deep. In fact, emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse-sometimes even more so.

   Abusers pick and choose whom to abuse. They don’t insult, threaten or assault everyone in their life who gives them grief. Typically, they save their abuse for the people closest to them, the ones they claim to love. They carefully choose when and where to abuse. They control themselves until no one else is around to see their abusive behavior. They may act like everything is fine in public, but lash out instantly as soon as you’re alone. Abusers are able to stop their abusive behavior when it benefits them. Most abusers, in fact, are not out of control. In fact, they’re able to immediately stop their abusive behavior when it’s to their advantage to do so (example: when the police show up or their boss calls). Violent abusers usually direct their blows where they won’t show. Rather than acting out in a mindless rage against you, many physically violent abusers carefully aim their kicks and punches where the bruises and marks won’t show.

   One of the other questions that has came up during this trial is “Why didn’t Jodi get a restraining order against Travis?” However, what many people forget is that the police can enforce a restraining order only if someone violate it, and then only if someone reports the violation. This means that you must be endangered in some way for the police to step in.

   If you are the victim of stalking or abuse, you need to carefully research how restraining orders are enforced in your neighborhood. Find out if the abuser will just be given a citation or if he/she will actually be taken to jail. If the police simply talk to the violator or give a citation, your abuser may reason that the police will do nothing and feel empowered to pursue you further. Or your abuser may become angry and retaliate. You’re not necessarily safe if you have a restraining order or protection order. The stalker or abuser may ignore it, and the police may do nothing to enforce it.

   • Thank you for sharing that awesome post, Jeff!
     Very enlightening and insightful.

     • Yes Jeff, thank you. Very clear and right on target!

   • In the late 1980’s I founded and published a newspaper called ATHENA–World’s Only International Newspaper For Victory Over Domestic Violence. I put out 12 issues over a period of 6 years (it came out twice yearly). Each issue was filled with news, and most importantly, with personal stories written by survivors of domestic violence themselves. For many it was a tool of empowerment. I am working now to publish the entire series of issues and dedicating it, of course, to Jodi Arias. It would benefit not only Jodi’s defense (whatever the eventual sentence comes to) but also increase public awareness of what battered women go through.

     • That’s great, Ronald. I am glad you are do something to increase public awareness.

     • That sounds really great! Kudos Ronald, kudos to you!

     • Ronald, What a great idea. I would love to read ‘ATHENA’. Keep us posted.

4. …

5. Please hang in there F.L. I always enjoy your posts. We all have apparently have been abused by these weird disturbing people. Who in their right would bother people who have only the best interest of another human being in need. . . just know your not alone. Jodi deserves to have the truth told and we must see that it happens. I don’t care what they do we will never give up on Freedom for Jodi!!!!
   So sorry you’ve had trouble too. 🙁 Best of Luck to You!

6. sorry. . . these darn typos!!!!! We all apparently have been abused by these weir disturbing people. Who in their right MIND would bother people who have only the best interest of another human being in need.. . you are not alone!

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