By Jodi Arias:
During my second trial, I was sitting at the defense table next to my attorney Jennifer Willmott and there was a lull in the proceedings during which the jury was not present. Judge Sherri Stephens had just ruled against me again in favor of the State for what felt like the umpteenth time that week alone.
Again and again, my team’s motions were denied; Juan’s were granted. Our objections were overruled; Juan’s were sustained. The entire trial wasn’t like this but, for those few days, the court’s slant in favor of the state was more glaring than usual.
Right after one such ruling, I leaned over to Jennifer and whispered, “It’s almost like he sold his soul to the devil,” referring to Juan, of course.
“I know,” she whispered back.
“Except I don’t believe in that. How would a person sell their soul anyway?”
I asked this question rhetorically, not seriously, because the concept of selling one’s soul, in this context, is fiction. I was exhausted and not a little perplexed at how the judge’s bias was obvious to everyone but herself. Nevertheless, I asked the question aloud, albeit in a whisper.
About a week later, I scooped up the pile of postcards that had been shoved under my cell door at night while I slept. Several were from one person, written in blocky letters and black gel ink.
“Jodi, I can make the doors of that jail open and you will walk out of there a free woman. That is, if you are willing to deny your Creator and partake of the Satanic rights. . . .”
OK, whoa.
It only took me a moment to correlate the cards in my hands with the question I posed to Jennifer a week earlier. Was this some dark synchronicity, or just a wild coincidence? Whichever it was, the postcards gave me pause.
I don’t believe in the devil. There are devils, sure. The symbolic kind. But I’m talking about the Christian devil. Satan. Lucifer. He whom some do not name so as to avoid inadvertently summoning.
I used to be Christian so I know from the Christian perspective that denying the devil’s existence is a kind of heresy. In the Christian worldview, that’s exactly what the devil wants you to believe: that he’s not even real. A Christian will tell you that is one of Satan’s biggest lies.
I get it. I really do because I used to believe that, too. It took me a lifetime to realize my former belief in the devil was one I inherited as a preschooler and not one I came to by choice.
The devil, Christian or otherwise, is a symbol. But even when I believed in the existence of this fictional paragon of evil, I never believed it was possible to sell my soul to him. “How could I sell what’s not even mine? My soul belongs to God,” I once said as a teenager who thought herself to be so deep and philosophical.
Maybe that’s where the “Satanic rites” come in, serving to sever the spiritual ties I used to believe I had to heavenly realms. I would hazard a guess that this is achieved, hypothetically, via a complex ritual replete with pomp and formality, bolstered by a smattering of Latin and maybe some requisite bodily fluid that I would be too squeamish to collect and offer.
Sometimes, when I retell this story, I end it on a humorous note: “Obviously, I never took that deal because I’m still here!” (bah-dum-bump!) In prison, that is.
I don’t believe in this stuff anyway, but if I had believed it would work, my answer then would have been an emphatic “Hell no,” pun and all. Because if it worked that would mean I could regain my freedom, all for the price of . . . my soul? Which presumably equates to spending eternity in hell. Which is another thing I don’t believe. But a deal’s a deal, right? So no thanks.
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ArtByJodiArias.com – UPDATE
Jodi’s personal efforts to raise money for her appeals also continue through the production of her art, which is sold at ArtbyJodiArias.com. Her art admin supports her efforts by running this “side hustle” of sorts on her behalf and taking none of the funds. The time and effort he devotes to this process (filing the taxes, trips to the post office every week to ship art) are an invaluable contribution.
If you are interested in another way to contribute to the cause, any purchase at ArtbyJodiArias.com is a legitimate way to support Jodi. You can also check out Jodi’s art on Instagram @ArtbyJodiArias.
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And Remember folks… as I always say – each day that passes takes us one day closer to Jodi’s release date.
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SJ
Team Jodi #WINNING <<<
Click the banner below to read Jade’s post – “Justice Denied: Why The Jurors Got It Wrong & How The Facts Decimate The State’s Case Against Jodi Arias.”:
