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Fifty Shades of Bullshit: Second verse, same as the first…

Hi everyone.  MB here!

The topics of sex and BDSM within the context of abusive relationships seems to be frequently revisited, so here are my own thoughts concerning this undercurrent in Jodi’s case.

Since the beginning of the trial, there has been a concentrated effort to dismiss or downplay the abusive behavior Travis Alexander showed to Jodi Arias.

First they said that everything Travis did was just “uh… guy stuff’ as though being the most aggressive jerk one could be was the only way to show he was a a “real man.”  They tried spinning it that it was fucking awesome for Travis to be a sexually aggressive and abusive POS that was just doing what comes naturally.  I repudiated that notion then, and I repudiate it now.  Even better, Real Men™ have started opening up to repudiate it as well.

When that didn’t work, the Travistown pedo-huggers did everything they could to compartmentalize and sanitize every disturbing detail of Travis and Jodi’s relationship as if it meant nothing; as if it was just a series of isolated incidents that didn’t fit into the pattern that showed consistently that Travis Alexander was indeed an abuser.  But that didn’t work either, especially after the testimony of Alyce LaViolette.

Then they tried pretending that Travis’ abusive behavior was just him engaging in BDSM.  Of course that didn’t work then, and it doesn’t work now, but it hasn’t stopped some of the pedo-huggers from trying to spin everything to make it sound like Jodi somehow wanted, and deserved, to be treated like a used piece of toilet paper.

I know women who are into BDSM, and they are in fact victims of domestic violence.  They can attest to the fact that there is a huge difference between enjoying a spanking during intimate moments; and getting a laptop thrown at your head.  Or, in Travis and Jodi’s situation, being thrown to the ground, kicked in the side resulting in a broken finger; and choked until you pass out.  The difference between abuse and kink should be crystal clear; if it weren’t for Jane Velez Mitchell and the rest of Travistown waving around the book Fifty Shades of Gray like it somehow explains Travis’ behavior.

As far as I know, Jodi has never been into BDSM.  Jodi and Travis never claimed to be part of the BDSM lifestyle, nor did Jodi have the privilege of having a safe word to ensure her participation continued to be consensual.  If there was evidence that Jodi and Travis were just a BDSM couple doing what BDSM couples do; wouldn’t Juan Martinez have brought that up in his cross examination?

The fact is, Jodi and Travis’ sex life; like most all couples, fell somewhere in the spectrum of kinky sexual behavior.  That does not, however, make them full fledged members of the squidgy pleather parade.  The Travistown Cult also tries to pretend, that anyone who isn’t into BDSM or doesn’t believe it’s appropriate for abusive behavior to be conflated with kinky sex must be “old fashioned.”  As much as I’d like to say that the concept of BDSM started as a collection of writings in the Marquis De Sade’s jail cell after he was locked away for being a general sex pest; the co-mingling of sex and aggression has been acted out since the dawn of Patriarchy.  It’s magical thinking to pretend that thousands upon thousands of years of human culture entrenched with women being sexualized, bought, sold, trafficked, beaten, kidnapped, raped, and treated as beasts of burden has zero impact on our modern attitudes towards sex and love.  That’s just the reality of historical events and their ongoing influence; and if anything domination and submission is the oldest known expression of human sexuality since we started keeping track.  Perhaps we are collectively unable to shake off the effects of this psychological dynamic at this point of human history; however modern BDSM allows for D/s roles to be filled regardless of sex or gender, and consent is an important concept that is earnestly sought and ensured.  So that is progress!

Travis and Jodi’s relationship was definitely “vanilla” in the sense that gender roles were rigid and enforced; and Travis used sex as a way to establish dominance over Jodi, and Jodi was seen to be just fulfilling her role as a female.  In BDSM culture, she would have had the privilege of a safe word, aftercare, and the Dom’s acceptance of responsibility as comparable by what level of power they assumed over their sub.  Travis accepted no responsibility for the safety, health, and welfare of Jodi during their relationship (with exception to helping her after breaking her finger); and this fact hasn’t been better attested to in that Travistown has done everything to absolve him of all accountability.

I would also like to point out, that there would be no discussion of Travis’ sex life if the pedo-huggers weren’t hell bent on portraying Jodi as an evil seductress with magical sexual powers and the evil eye that preyed upon poor, innocent, virginal Travis who was the elder of a church.  They opened that door all by themselves by perpetuating a false narrative; propped up by the notion that only “good girls” can be victims of domestic violence, while “bad girls” somehow deserve to be treated poorly and with contempt when they come forward about their abuse.  This false dichotomy deflects responsibility away from the abuser, and instead tries to assign it to the victim in proportion to what value she is perceived to have in society.

Contrary to what people assume, we do not believe Jodi is a victim because she is perfect or pure.  We KNOW Jodi is a victim because of what Travis did to her.  It’s HIS actions towards HER that determine whether she falls into the status as an abused woman, not how many boyfriends she’s had or whether she has had anal or oral sex before her relationship with Travis.  And judging by the raging text messages from Travis, Jodi’s permanently deformed finger, and sex tape where Travis brags about intimidating people – she certainly is a battered woman.

No, Jodi is not perfect but I am not ashamed of her nor will I ever be ashamed of defending her.  She has made poor decisions and she admits to making poor decisions but I understand why she made those decisions.  She made them within the context of an abusive relationship where she was treated like a second class citizen.  Her relationship with Travis was not unhealthy because they experimented with kinky stuff.  It was unhealthy because Travis abused Jodi emotionally, physically and sexually; nor was she able to make fundamental decisions in the interest of her own self preservation during and after their relationship.  If they were a BDSM couple, perhaps she really could have walked away and started a new life with Ryan Burns.  But Travis wasn’t having that, was he?  He attacked her during the most dangerous time of their relationship – when she was moving on from him and getting back to his old self.  If that doesn’t convince people that he was an abuser (aside from all the other evidence admitted into court), then nothing will.

Leave your comments below.

MB
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211 Comments

  3. MB,
    Thank you for your post. It was very enlightening.
    My thoughts on this is that travis had suppressed sexual fantasies. He probably was aroused with BDSM and pedophilia and because Jodi was so in love with him and ready to please him in any way, he knew this and he also knew that she would give in to anything he asked her to do.
    I do not judge anything two adults do behind their bedroom doors but I do judge when one of the two takes advantage of the other’s vulnerability just to satisfy his sexual urges.
    In Jodi and travis’s case, Jodi was vulnerable because she had shown her love for travis and travis took advantage of that.
    I have read that a person that ‘gives in’ to every desire just to please someone else is very oppressed psychologically because they put aside their own needs and wants. They even ‘give in’ to things they do not like, again, just to please. Thus, this is a form of psychological abuse and it is a very harsh trauma to the soul.
    I do insist that Jodi was abused both psychologically and physically by travis. It’s a damn shame because all she wanted from him was to respect her and love her as she did him.
    Just because we can’t see the bruises, doesn’t mean they are not there.

    ((((((Jodi)))))

    • I agree with you Pan, I don’t care what people do as long as everyone is adult, human, and capable of consent (in fact I prefer not to know lol). But I draw the line when one person is taking advantage of another person. Exploitation is never acceptable; and society tends to accuse the victim of “letting it happen” rather than holding the aggressor accountable.

      • Right on MB, “and society tends to accuse the victim of “letting it happen” : sadly true.

  5. Very good article MB.

    What many people miss is that the point of the rather graphic sexual details is not to portray Travis badly, but to explain the context that led him to become so fearful, and also Jodi’s naivety about male sexual fantasies. Many couples do use “props”, I read the other day that 25% “dress up”. Nobody is suggesting there is anything fundamentally wrong with this, but it depends on the culture and context. Travis was wanting to go much too far too soon, this was a mis-match. The context here is Mormon : officially very strict, but Salt Lake City is the capital of hypocrisy when it comes to sexual matters. Maybe a google streetview would demonstrate that.

    • GeeBee, I read your discussion at the link you provided. It is an interesting one.

      I wanted to ask you if you think the details of Travis and Jodi’s sex lives were important in the trial? I felt like both Travis and Jodi were getting violated (by me included) and wonder how the trial would have played out without sex being introduced.

      I think it would have eliminated the “jodi as a seductress’ and “jodi as a slut” mentality.

      • I think the tape needed to be there. I think the photographs were gratuitous though, there was no reason for them to be shown, and at least not in open court. I think that was Martinez exhibiting psychopathic tendencies, assassinating Jodi’s very being and was despicable.

        The same way he showed the picture of Travis’ cut throat to one of Jodi’s witnesses, causing a disturbance, objection etc. That was to my eyes completely unacceptable and he should have been admonished by the judge. I never saw another televised case, but I really think this was not right, nothing how I imagined a courtroom to be.

        • I thought we had come so far that a person’s sexual history cannot be used against them in court. Never, in my lifetime, did I think I would see both accused and defendant’s genitals flashed across a near movie-sized screen.

          Martinez got a little awestruck by the fame, I think. He became so focused on winning he couldn’t see the forest for the trees. He should probably be held accountable for what he did in some fashion, at some point in time. He’d only become a better man if he faces up to what he’s done. He certainly can’t get much lower, imo.

          • Why keep up on the screen a person’s genitals? Why turn that courtroom into a porn movie studio?
            He needed to dehumanize her,he needed to make those jurors see her as a whore! That would be the only way to ‘sympathize’ with TA’s words! If you are shocked or embarrassed enough by a person’s actions,you begin to understand another person bashing them. No,flashing the pics was not necessary. What was the purpose anyways? ”See everybody, Mr Flores is such a good detective he can vouch who this a**hole belongs to;the defendant!!” Sorry for being so graphic but graphic seems to be Martinez’ favourite word. Was it necessary to flash TA’s cut throat to Lisa Andrews?NO! Especially at that point and to that particular witness;the line of questioning had nothing to do with the killing when he did that and caught everybody by surprise.Lisa had nothing to do with the crime or the crime scene itself. So why do it?With the ME,ok I get it.The crime scene expert,suuure. But using heineous pics or sexually explicit ones just to ‘make noise’ is a cheap shot.Period.

      • I hope you don’t mind me butting in here a moment, but the only way for Martinez to make a case for premeditation was to cook up a false narrative to accuse Jodi of being a jealous, scorned slut that murdered Travis because she could no longer have him all to herself. Without that tawdry, fabricated backdrop; the gas cans and receipts would mean precisely nothing – which I have contended as such the entire time.

        Had Martinez, and subsequently the media and the Internet had not taken and run with that fabrication, Travis’ sex life would be a nonissue. Like I said, they opened that door all by themselves.

        Since Martinez didn’t focus solely on evidence and forensics, neither could the defense. Jodi is entitled to a vigorous defense and it was up to them to confront the false allegations against Jodi with the truth that Travis was an abuser who lived a double life, and was an elder of a church.

  6. This case has brought so many issues to light; some of them were annoying while others downright shocking. Sex was a major part of the trial and there were days I couldnt even understand what the point was in bringing in so many unnecessary details, especially by Martinez. The way I see it Jodi and Travis engaged in consensual sex most of the times,which could hardly qualify as S&M sex. Acting out fantasies and using sex toys or KYs may seem a bit out there to older people or even younger ones who may be a bit old-fashioned and like to keep it ‘vanilla’ style but it was far from S&M stuff.
    The sad part was that Jodi and only Jodi was demonised,ridiculed and dragged through the mud by the media for being sexual basically due to the fact that she was a woman;this is outrageous because havent women fought for equal rights???I guess there are still people thinking we live in the Medieval Times where women were seen as something impure or were accused of being witches or the Victorian Era where it was unheard of for a woman to enjoy sex or speak publicly about it!
    No one here ever judged Jodi and Travis for having sex.The only point repeatedly raised was that it was disingenuous on Travis’ part to claim he was a virgin and anting to abide by the mormon beliefs when he clearly could NOT!
    Also, I bet you won’t find a single Jodi supporter here who claimed that what these two were doing was perverted. BUT there’s a distinct line between 1)what Jodi said was enjoyable and done with her giving full consent and wanting to be a part of and 2)Travis’ going off limits and turning this into abuse and sick behaviour towards her.
    There were 2 Travises. The one who would have sex with Jodi, lighting candles and calling her a Goddess or asking to act out pretty ‘acceptable’ fantasies which is perfectly normal. And then there was the other,monstrous one: the ”You were miserable and I still RAPED you” Travis, the getting a b**w-job-and-throwing-a-candy-at-her-as-if-she-were-a-whore Travis, the you-sound-like-a-12-year-old-having-her-first-orgasm Travis, the masturbating-to-the-pic-of-a-little-boy Travis, the twisting-her-arm-behind-her-back-pulling-down-her-pants-and-putting-it-in-her-a$$- Travis just because he was stressed and needed to di-stress etc etc…
    Not to mention all the other incidents where a sexual encounter would quickly turn into a violent outburst of his or the countless times he verbally and emotionally treated her like NO woman should ever be treated by her boyfriend . He was in charge of all the games and strategies in this relationship, he was the Key Holder who would lock or unlock her in and out of her cage at his will. THAT’S what we find unusual, that’s what we dislike him for. Abuse is abuse is abuse!!! And to our surprised none of this has ever been mentioned by the mass media. They turned a blind eye and chose the easy way out: crucify Jodi without bothering to see the bigger picture.

    • I think that there were symptoms of the dangerous Travis in their sex life, Maria. You give some great examples of that. I can’t help but feel as if maybe the forensics would have been focused on instead of the times when Jodi and Travis were intimate, Jodi may have had a better shot. In my opinion, the forensics demonstrate she was defending herself.

      The times when Travis was abusive sexually were overshadowed by the other details of their sex life (KY jelly, possible BDSM, etc). I even felt like the fact that Travis was sexting several women at the same time and cheating on his partners got lost while Jodi managed to get crucified for ‘adjusting’ some guy she hoped to date.

    • Hi Maria,
      The media certainly DID turn a blind eye to the outrageous abuse that Travis inflicted upon Jodi. They NEVER addressed the conflicts, the demons, that Travis had within himself. He was, evidently, a very troubled man who would NOT address his own sexual urges because they were unacceptable to him. Because of shame, he was attempting to fool himself just as he had those around him fooled. Jodi saw him for what he was. She KNEW him…and that fact was a threat to his facade of morality, purity, godliness. As you stated “There were 2 Travises” …the one he wanted to be and the one he WAS. The more that was exposed of Travis, throughout the trial, the more I sensed that most (if not all) of Travis’ anger toward Jodi was displaced anger. Had Travis taken Jodi’s advise and sought counseling to help him deal with his hidden sexuality, his urges, we may not be here discussing this issue and Jodi would not be where she is. Jodi knew there was “something wrong with that boy”. She did not want to expose it to the world but she was forced to. It’s all out there now and his “team” STILL won’t address these deep-seated issues that were the fundamental causes of conflict in Jodi and Travis’ relationship.

      • That was totally what made me so angry with the media, they pretended they didn’t hear Travis’s continuous lies, cheating, abuse etc. they made such a big deal about Jodi lying to police about what happened which obviously any young girl who went through something horrific like Jodi did is going to lie, she was scared. TA lied all the time to EVERYONE but they put that a$$ on a pedestal grrr still frustrates me!

    • I agree Maria, and how can they accuse anyone of being old fashioned when they themselves can’t handle the idea of a grown woman exercising her right to have a sex life? How repressed, backwards, and old fashioned are THEY, that they can’t wrap their heads around the idea that Jodi had sex with Travis because she still loved him? I mean come on, it’s not like it’s unusual for women to have sex with someone they care about, and want to please them because they love them.

      And like I pointed out in my post, it’s not like the comingling of sex and aggression is anything new. It’s been done since forever; so it’s not a novel concept except to the inexperienced and repressed. When the haters were saying “Oh, this is just what the kids are doing nowadays” they’re showing how ignorant they are of both BDSM and abusive relationships. I think they just have no idea what boundaries are, or any understanding of why they are important. BDSM has boundaries and people are free to exercise their right to place boundaries of their consent, and abusive relationships do not. Huge difference.

  7. MB-
    Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I’ve been off the soap box for a while now, but will step back on for a minute to tell you that I appreciate the fact that you continue to tell the truth about this situation. Truth has become an even greater rarity in recent months, and bullying people to stop the truth seems to be in vogue! We are now living in a society where truth has taken a back seat to “political correctness”, and we wonder why our world is in such shambles. I thank you for once again shining the light on partner violence and making it so clear as to why I continue to support Jodi.

    I again find myself enraged that in 2013, people do not understand the dynamics of partner violence, and continue to perpetrate dangerous ideas that include complete nonsense like; “boys will be boys”. Further, I commend those who continue to let the truth be told, without falling victim to the ridiculous notions that: telling the truth equates to “bashing the victim”, and “one should never speak ill of the dead”. The truth is the truth no matter what the circumstances. How sad that our society has turned so far from the days in which truth was honorable.

    Although life has kept me from being here on a regular basis, I continue to support Jodi and this site’s determination to let the entire truth be told, to insure that Justice remains intact in our democracy, and that the issue of partner violence is not ignored.

    • I think domestic violence is one of the last taboo subjects. Another is the existence and experience of high class prostitutes (“escorts”), which perhaps ended with the exposure of Belle du Jour.

    • I’d also say that until I came across this case I had zero understanding of domestic violence.

      I never experienced it.

      The jury was selected on the basis they hadn’t experienced it.

      So it’s not surprising they apparently didn’t understand it.

    • Hi TR!

      Well that’s just it, the truth is what it is. It can be ignored, ridiculed, covered up, suppressed; but there it is. It’s still there. It’s not like it’s going away. We’d might as well speak it, accept it, and be done with it. It’s those that resist it that are the ones with the problem.

      I think you’ll like my next post. Stay tuned. 🙂

  8. Good morning my friends! Happy Thursday!!! 🙂

    JC, honey….did I get it right today?!?!?!? LOL LOL LOL

    ((((((((((((((((((((((((♥sis♥)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

    ((((((((((((((((((((♥Pan♥))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

            • Pan♥ You are always drop-dead gorgeous in every picture I have seen of you on Facebook. I really, really love the red and the bangs. I used to rock red hair myself, before I went back to black.

              Stunning, love.

              • Renee’ , I too want to tell you that you are a fucking gorgeous woman! When you had shown us that picture of yourself, you wow-ed the hell out of me!!! I love you girl!
                ((((((((((Renee’))))))))

      • Maria people are betting on my age! LOL! They think I am in my late fifties early sixties! Please tell them the truth that I am 82! LOL!

        • Pandora, if that is you in the pic you don’t look a day over 25! I must say I really like the red hair, I’ve always had a thing for red heads 😀

          • Ray, thanks! I would tell you my age but I don’t wanna ruin it for the haters! LOL! Thay are betting a serious amount of money! on it When someone finally hits the jackpot, I certainly will announce the winning number! Just to help them out, this picture was taken a few years ago. Yes, as a woman and you know how harsh we are in judging the looks of other women, I think redhead woman are very sexy, too!

  9. What bothered me most, is Travis baptized Ms.Arias, he was an authority figure to her. He over stepped his boundaries. He taught one thing, yet as an elder he committed fornication with the one he baptised. He violated her in many ways he breached her trust. This plays on the subconscious mind always. We only heard parts of his double life he led, we have no idea how much he directed all fault on Ms. Arias. Can you imagine your teacher the one you look up to, violate you in the manner TA did. He tore Ms. Arias’es subconscious mind apart, he ripped apart her moral standards. If you understand abusers they are great at taring the victims moral standards apart. Even if Ms. Arias enjoyed their sex life, he was an authority figure an he abused his role!!!!!!! Like the teacher that violates his/ her student!!!

    • I agree, Karrie. Well said. I give two fucks about their sex life, although it did bring to light the “Real TA” in his own words. Where I struggle is that he is a mormon, pretending to be a pius and chaste person and yet, while degrading Jodi by throwing a Toblerone at her face and leaving her on her knees (note: if Jodi was okay with that, then it is okay….but I have a feeling that NO woman would be okay with that).

      You just don’t get to have it both ways; at first they all called him a saint, then they started making excuses. You just do NOT baptize a person and then have anal sex with them right after. If it is something you are ashamed of, that you wont tell your family, friends, or bishop- well, then dont do it.

      and why is Jodi being called a whore? what is Travis? he is having sex with her, and sexting other women at he same time… I think at one point, the list of women were somewhere around 11? almost all at the same time?? and you call Jodi a whore, because she had 4 boyfriends by her late 20s? really? I had more than 4 boyfriends by the time I was fucking 18! and NO, I was not, nor am I now, a whore.

    • Far as I’m concerned the naughtiness of violating the religious teachings was part of what got Travis off. Why else would he have anal sex immediately after baptizing Jodi? I think had Travis lived, he would have continued to abuse that position of trust with others because I think he enjoyed having authority over another and winding his kinky sexcapades into the mix. Lets face it, the Mormon religion would not be the first to have the higher ups in the church abuse their position of power.

      And you’re right Renee, if Jodi was a whore then Travis most certainly one. There’s no doubt about it, he liked his tail, and there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s simply that it was so against his religious teachings and I think he was very torn about that. Wouldn’t be the first religion to expect the impossible from it’s members.

      • and it breaks my heart.

        Jodi was not a whore. 4 partners at late twenties?????????????? seriously? in 2008 that makes her a whore???

        and women every where turning on her for this?

        WTF??

        • Yup I can’t explain the huge animosity towards Jodi, especially from women. Jodi only had those 4 boyfriends and that’s nothing compared to some women. Anyone can see that TA was such a two faced, lying chameleon. He put on a different persona depending on the situation and who he was with. I can accept lots of negative qualities in people but phoniness is one I absolutely can’t tolerate. TA should have gone into acting, he would have done a fine job.

    • Hi Karrie, I’ve made this point several times myself. He occupied a position of power within his religion, and was charged with the spiritual welfare of those under his care and guidance.

      With ANY position of power comes responsibility; and especially within the context of religion where people are seeking a deeper, more meaningful understanding of their existence. Religion is also something people rely on to sustain their well being and worldview, especially in hard times; and something to celebrate in good times.

      The fact that the media made nearly NO mention of Travis being an elder of a church disturbs me. You know for a fact if he were a Catholic priest that it would have been front page news. Travistown downplayed this important component of their relationship.

      They even approved of Travis being in positions of power with zero responsibility for the health and welfare of those in his charge. They whipped up a recipe for tyranny and tried to pass it off as “normal guy stuff” or “normal heterosexual stuff” when in fact it is the very essence of the abusers mindset. It’s certainly not BDSM either, because Dominants are required to accept responsibility in the proportion of power they exert over the submissive. They also do aftercare to make sure that the sub’s emotional and physical health is intact; and also because it is a bonding experience. That’s not what Travis did with Jodi, and the media can certainly attest to that fact as they absolved him of all accountability for his role in their relationship.

      I grant that anyone – not just Travis – would have a hard time abiding by the covenant of the mormon religion. But he sought out and occupied a position within his church that required certain standards of behavior he wasn’t willing to accept; so then he should have stepped down. Not used that position to establish dominance over Jodi, or by having anal sex with her after bapitizing her. I mean come on! I can’t think of ANY other church that would justify or pretend that behavior isn’t worth distancing themselves from. To this day, there has been no official statement from the Mormon church to set the record straight as to what standard of behavior they expect from their elders; which leads me to believe this is a problem they don’t want to deal with.

    • ” I am no psychologist so I have no place attempting to diagnose the madness inside of Jodi Arias’ head.
      I will, however, call a spade a spade and a monster a monster. Jodi Arias is a monster, a media whore and a master manipulator”

      I thought I’d give this a chance but ..you know when a person begins her article as stupidly as she does,I dont even bother! You say you are no fu**ing shrink yet you dedicate an entire article including NO EVIDENCE whatsoever calling her all kinds of names,basically just character assassinating her.Oh,doll! You shouldna have gone into the trouble.There are like a zillion other articles out there;at least you should have tried harder not to sound so… libelous,not to show that you are an HLN addict!

      SO SHUT YOUR FREAKING MOUTH AND DO SOMETHING USEFUL WITH YOUR TIME!

  11. Wonderful post MB!

    This was a topic of discussion with my BF last night. The definition of BDSM has been skewed by the 50 Shades series…become mainstream and sugar coated it. Read Anne Rice’s stuff or O and then tell me that is what Travis and Jodi were into? Not that there is anything wrong with it if it is the life style that you choose. But there are built in safe guards for the submissive. Jodi had no safe guards and Travis was not suffering from “Boys will be Boys”. He was a skilled manipulator who prayed upon her trusting nature and the love she had for him.

    I wonder how many of the women that read the series are faithful HLN followers? I bet the numbers would be staggering.

    • Jaz,

      How did 50 shades skew BDSM? I thought the writer was in the lifestyle. I admit I loved the series. Is it not an authentic depiction of the lifestyle?

      • What’s notable is that so many people read it. My wife read it, I also read it (or at least some of it). I remember it was about a year ago, when Andy Murray got knocked out of wimbledon, and we had a cheap mini-holiday with a group of friends on the south coast. I don’t have very definite views, but my feeling is that fantasies are fine, but it’s can be dangerous to live fantasies out in too extreme a fashion – in the same way that drugs can be dangerous. It’s taking us too far away from our natural state. Sexuality is confusing, for both women and men. I think http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2031498/Sex-Why-makes-women-fall-love–just-makes-men-want-MORE.html is actually not bad ( for the Daily Mail ).

    • Thanks Jaz!

      I don’t know much about 50 shades, only that the media and Travistown have been waving it around pretending that it explains Travis’ abusive behavior.

      You’re exactly right that there are safeguards for a submissive in a BDSM relationship; but there are NO safeguards for victims of abuse. Viva la difference!

  12. MB,

    Your writing is beautiful! I get emotional with beautiful writing. Crying emotional. There is one paragraph I wanted to copy and paste over here but it is not working for me.

    Someone asked about should the sex part have been brought in to the trial. I think it had to be brought in. I don’t think Kermi and Wilmont were the attornies to play that part. Let me preface that I like Kermi and Wilmont. Trials are Dramas. This one was a major Drama. I came into the trial in March. Got caught up with Travis being a Mormon, Jody becoming one. The whole virgin thing in the religion. I heard rumors about Jodi before I heard anything about Travis. “Jodi is a liar” “Jodi seduced Travis” “Travis wanted to marry a good girl and Jodi was a slut” “Jodi had problems” “Jodi stalked him” “Jodi wore special underwear to seduce Travis” “Travis is the best person in the world” “Jodi is creepy”

    Travis was about 28 to 30? At least 27yo. He was a mormon. Mormon’s say no sex until marriage. Travis was a at least 27 yo male who was brought up in the toughest of circumstances. That man was not a virgin. And there was no way, even before Jodi that he wasn’t having sex..

    That is the strongest point that stood out to me, when I first started watching. I missed all the Jodi, Chris Hughes, Jodi boyfriend testimony.
    I came in at Dr. Samuels.

    But, yes. The prosecution wanted to make Travis look like a mormon Saint and make Jodi look like a whore. The Defence tried to make Travis out to be a liar about his virginity, to have these pedaphile issues. But it couldn’t get slammed home to the jury. We didn’t need naked pictures of Jodi. It makes her look more like a whore. This is just like what MB wrote about. The woman will look like a slut, the man doesn’t get judged like that.

    Also,, MB spoke of not speaking bad of the dead. Well, in this case we have to tell the truth.
    In a few of Jodi’s interviews she spoke of not wanting this information to get out. Not wanting this memory of Travis to exist. She still is trying to protect him! While so many people sit back and judge her for the person that she isn’t.

    The truth about Travis has to get out there. For the public and the jurors to know. If the correct attorny could have gotten those points accross, it would play out different. That is why Jodi needs another trial in a different place. Where people will admit that just because you belong to a religion doesn’t mean you can achieve all their demands. And that Jodi can be seen as saving her life.

    • With all due respect, I don’t consider my criticism of Travis Alexander to be “attacking the dead”. I don’t agree with this unwritten rule that after somebody dies that we can’t say anything bad about them. So if Fidel Castro kicks the bucket tomorrow, are we supposed to withhold any criticism of him out of respect? I’m sorry, but I don’t agree. Castro is an evil dictator who has frequently violated human rights, torturing and murdering many innocent people in Cuba. I’m not wishing anything bad to happen to him, but the moment he is gone, Cuba and the world will be a better place.

      I’ve NEVER posted any cruel or insensitive pictures of Travis Alexander like autopsy photos or anything that would be designed to mock or ridicule his death. Believe it or not, I’m a decent person. I really am sorry that Travis is dead. I wish that Travis didn’t ever die, but I can’t change that and neither can anyone else. But for me to say that Travis Alexander wasn’t a douche bag for the way that he treated Jodi Arias would be dishonest and I think that the truth should be told. Yes, Travis did do some good things in his life. However, just because pedophiles, murderers and rapists did a few good deeds in their lives doesn’t make up for the evil and bad things they did to others.

      It would be like Adolf Hitler going to the pearly gates and St. Peter saying, “Well, let’s see, Adolf. You murdered 6 million Jews and, not to mention, several Allied forces were killed by your military. However, you were a very good, charismatic speaker and had a good relationship with dogs. Sure, we’ll let you in!”

        • I agree too!
          If there’s one thing that infuriates me the most is that there are people out there suggesting that we should avoid ANY kind of criticism towards TA just because he’d dead.Sorry,whaaaa?To them all I have to say is I beg your pardon? I do NOT believe in absolution(I am not God), I do NOT believe in idolizing or idealizing someone JUST BECAUSE they died. Is death some kind of achievement? If that were the case,people would be held accountable for their actions only during their lifetime,our History books and conscience would be full of absolved individuals whose bad deeds would be hushed or even ignored,everybody’s works and behaviour would be seen through rose colored glasses and Posthumous Fame would be sort of a given.

          Sorry to burst your bubble folks,but it doesnt work this way! Of course we’re judging him,of course he is not liked by most people here,he doesnt deserve to be liked. Why?Think about it! Dont take Jodi’s word for it,if you dont want to- no one is forcing you because yeah,yeah I know she’s a pathological liar blah blah blah( boooored) What about Travis’ though?What about Skye’s word?
          Especially when the person in question is someone who after dying left his own WORDS behind,his own WORDS &VOICE as a reminder of the kind of person he was.

          As I’ve already said in one of my previous posts: ”VERBA VOLANT,SCRIPTA MANENT”
          And neither Mrs Hughes NOR Travis will ever get away from their own written words. Thank you both for helping us better understand how messed up that dude was.

          • But Maria, it is ok for some people to call us lowlifes because we critisize travis. On the other hand, them name calling Jodi a whore, a heartless murderer, and many other things is acceptable. Give me a fucking break!
            I too do not believe in turning a person into a saint just because he/she died. Or not talking bad about him/her JUST BECAUSE they died. When there is proof that they were scumbags while living, they certainly died as scumbags and will remain scumbags for eternity. They had all the chances in their lives not to be but chose to be.
            Same applies for travis. He chose to be a user and abuser. He will be remembered as one.

      • Jeff,

        Your criticism of Travis has to be said by you and heard by the world. I repeatedly said how important it was to get out the truth about Travis. The importance of slamming those points home, etc.

      • Thank you MB!

        I have some information I am writing futher down. I haven’t had a chance to be on much but want to leave this information.

  14. MB, Great post!
    Team Jodi! I will never be able to get this case out of my head until I know Jodi has gotten Justice.

    • Same here Oregonmom. I think it happens to people who never saw this as just ”a case” but rather as something tangible,Jodi is a real person to us and we won’t find peace unless she finds Justice. True Justice!

  15. Take a bow MB. Tremendous post!
    This site and the people who frequent it never cease to amaze me with their knowledge and their compassion and their love for Jodi!
    I’m proud to be a Jodi Arias supporter and to call you folks my Jodi family!

    Love you Jodi!

  16. You hit the nail on the head MB! If these down-player types had daughters or sisters or someone close to them who were in unhealthy relationships they would think twice about saying ‘no biggie’ to some of the twisted shit that TA put Jodi through. Certain females can be vulnerable, as well as males, and will go thru hell or high water to please the person they’re with no matter how deranged it seems. And so what if she liked sex? To my knowledge, that doesn’t warrant the death penalty. It was his abuse and mistreatment of her that was the problem and that’s what led to his demise. So if ever one of these TA fans has a niece or a cousin get a finger broken by her lover, then we’ll see how apathetic they are. Hypocrites!!

    • I agree Gwen! Even Sky Hughes said that she’d never want her sister to date Travis because of how he treated women. Of course she later tried to backpedal on that, and pretended that she could spin it so that she could pretend she was deceived by Jodi. I think, way back in the hater’s mind, they KNOW they wouldn’t want their daughter, sister, niece, or cousin getting involved with a dude like Travis.

      Here’s what I don’t get – those of us not into BDSM are called old fashioned, but the reaction against Jodi having a sex life is very backwards and puritanical don’t you think? She’s a grown woman – so what if she had sex with Travis? So what if she did things she normally wouldn’t do to please Travis? That’s what a lot of people – men and women – do when they are in love.

      • When Skye’s e-mail went public,it must have been one of the happiest days of my life. She fucked up BIG TIME!! What could she say NOW that could take anything that she wrote back? ROFLMAO!
        She got trapped like a mouse in a mousetrap and serves her right for being a two-faced disingenuous hypocrite. Backpedalling is one of the things I despise the most: have some pride girl and dont go back on your own written word puh-leeeez! As we say ”Have the courage of your opinion(meaning have the courage to defend whatever you say or believe in )

  17. MB, your article is excellent, wonderful and an inspiration to us all. I forgot to mention Jodi’s broken finger in my post last night, but I never forgot the incident. I remember how HLN and many Travis Alexander supporters mocked Jodi for that and insinuated that she faked the injury or deliberately broke it herself. I get the feeling that if Jodi Arias had discovered the whereabouts of Osama bin Laden, HLN and the Travis Alexander supporters would have said that Travis told her where he was or she hacked into Travis’s computer to find out this information.

    What really frustrates me is this “boys will be boys” attitude. Ergo, it is NEVER acceptable for a man to abuse a woman whether it is physical, mental or psychological. It is NEVER acceptable for a man to lie or cheat. I get tired of hearing some women talk about how they applaud wives and girlfriends of men who cheated on them or abused them because they are “standing by their man”. I honestly don’t think that this is what the late Tammy Wynette had in mind when she sang that song. No woman should ever stand by a man who thinks she has “Everlast” written on her body. No woman should ever stand by a man who repeatedly lies to her and treats her like she is disposable toilet paper.

    Travis said many cruel and hurtful things to Jodi. He said she was the worst thing that ever happened to him and called her all sorts of derogatory names, but apparently she wasn’t that terrible or distasteful to keep calling or running back to for a booty call. I listened to the sex tape between them and, no, I did not get turned on by it. Quite the contrary, I was honestly so turned off by it that I literally felt nauseous through most of it. But what I heard on that tape was a douche bag that never, ever loved Jodi Arias. Not the way she deserved to be loved. She’s pouring out her heart to this guy and he keeps steering the conversation back to sex. Douche bag. Plain and simple. Boys will be boys? Think again. How about let’s teach our boys to behave like gentlemen? Yes, boys can be and often are immature, but it’s one thing to be immature and another altogether to be an abuser of women.

  18. Great post MB.

    One thing that pissed me off was JVM and her 50 shades crap. That trilogy was a disgrace to writing! It was a bunch of repetitive bullshit and for the most part,inaccurate. I have an extensive collection of erotica, from DeSade, to Anais Nin, to A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice), Pauline Réage and lots more. All of them much better writing than E. L. James. The stuff DeSade writes about is not even realistic. Most people wouldn’t even survive some of the stuff he wrote about. People in the lifestyle take what works for them and leave the rest. The 50 shades books were written for commercial value and nothing more. I’m sure she made a ton of money off them, even my daughter who is quite prim and proper read them because everyone at work were talking about them so much. Then she didn’t want to loan them to me because she didn’t want me reading them. I didn’t have the heart to tell her, “honey, I have a collection of erotica in my closet that would make 50 shades look like bible study books”. lol

    No way was what TA and Jodi had a BDSM relationship. It was kinky at best. Maybe that is what TA wanted it to be, but it ended up being abusive, with none of the love and caring that I have seen among couples in the lifestyle. TA was a man who really didn’t know who he was, and was trying hard to be what he perceived others wanted and expected him to be. I believe that in life, he was truly a tormented man. If he had just gone ahead and lived his life the way he wanted to, he would have been much happier, and might be here with us today.

    • Thanks Bev!

      I have not read the books, but I heard that 50 Shades were fanfic from Twilight made into their own separate book series.

      I agree, their relationship had some kinky elements, but that doesn’t make them a fully fledged BDSM couple. Jodi would have had some rights, for example. She would have been able to set boundaries. He would have established consent before performing sex acts on her, instead of making her feel responsible for going to sleep with him in the same bed.

      “TA was a man who really didn’t know who he was, and was trying hard to be what he perceived others wanted and expected him to be.”

      I’ve gotten that impression myself sometimes; and I think that holds true for a lot of men who don’t have a strong sense of self. (A lot of women too, but we’re talking machismo at the moment.) Rather than accepting ALL parts of themselves, they funnel all their energies into being the most domineering assholes they can be. Apparently that’s seen as a winning strategy, just ask Martinez. 🙂

      • ”I’ve gotten that impression myself sometimes; ” Oh my sweet,dear MB. Just ‘sometimes’?????? I think you are giving him too much credit LOL LOL 😀 Everything he did wasdone to keep balance between his real self and desires and his lifestyle and facade.

      • Is this even legal with the possibility of the new jury pool getting tainted?Poor Jodi,oh my poor Jodi ..Of course she won’t have a fair trial now just as she didnt have a chance before!
        No trust in him,them…They wrote it in a month?A month? It’s gonna be a regurgitated HLN styled book. Not interested but in case someone buys and reads it,do share your thoughts 😉

        • Brian Skoloff’s reports were quite good, but I don’t think he reported on rebuttal day…

          All the journalists went home just when the testimony got interesting….

          I could be wrong, but it was something I noticed.

      • I like the idea. Btw,has Gibb given an interview where he extensively talks about writing the song about Jodi? I’ve read a lot of comments online even by fans; they are hugely against him now for this decision of his.

        • No, he just said it that one time, but that one remark has been widely reproduced.

          “The girl has been found guilty and is facing the death penalty. There will be at least one track about that – it has really struck me.”

          I think we can draw our own conclusions, knowing Barry.

        • The comments are just from the ignorant lynch mob that was organised against Jodi.

          Mostly these people know next to nothing about the case.

      • No… I think he is keeping Jodi under wraps just for now… he is currently promoting a UK tour.

        There was an intro mentioning things like 9 grammy awards, 4th highest selling album of all time, 200 million records sold, 8 UK platinum albums, Staying Alive..

        Then he sang http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_Love_Somebody_(song)
        accompanying himself on acoustic guitar – sat on a sofa.

  20. TGIF Good morning all, finally the end of another very long week at work. Yesterday was like Christmas in July, I got a letter from Jodi!! She seems to be in very good spirits and doing ok, she didn’t say but I think she got a lot of mail for her birthday. I would like to thank TEAM JODI for making her day a little better. WOOOHOOO!!!

    (((((HUGS JODI)))))

    Ray in Harrisonburg Virginia

    • Ray, that is awesome! Is this the first time you’ve received a letter from Jodi? How long ago did you send her a postcard?

      • Jeff, no this is not the first time she has written to me, I write to her at least once a week sometimes more. She writes back usually every 2 to 4 weeks. A little more often since the trial has ended. She told me a while back that the pace of the trial was terrible, early days and late nights. I’m really glad that she seems to be doing well. She knows that she has a lot of support out here

        (((((JODI)))))

        Ray in Harrisonburg Va.

    • I’m glad she is in good spirits. She wrote me back about a month ago and sent a really nice letter. That’s so great she wrote you back!

    • WOOOHOOOOO Ray! I am so so so happy for you!
      Remember people,she can only have 10 envelopes a week, poor baby is doing her best to write everyone back so we should all be very patient.

      (((((((((JODI))))))))))

  21. Jodi has been 100% honest in her sexual relations with Travis. I think she would have said they were into BDSM, if in fact they were. They were not. She is a serial monogamous, while TA is a serial cheater. She has been with very few men. The first sexual encounter with TA, the anal sex hurt her and she made him stop she brought in KY because it must have been clear to her that was the only way he could or would have sex with her and that was painful anal. She was always trying to please him. He lied to everyone and he himself bragged about being a Virgin. Lied to all about who and what he was. His shame of Joidi was a mirror of his shame for himself and he blamed her for it but would not let her move on. Always pulling her back in with BS lines and lies. I am so sick of them making excuses for this beast TA. he was shady like PPL and they are all in cahoots over this. BTW Nasty Gross is freaking out that Zimmerman has collected $30K in contributions. What about the Alexander’s and Hughes. How can they sleep at night? Blood money. For what?

    • ”His shame of Jodi was a mirror of his shame for himself”
      Truest.Words.Ever. Which in and of itself is a psychological preoblem. If only he had seen a shrink….
      But you know,narcissists are like that.Even when they are outspoken about their problems deep down they will never admit to themselves they are in need of help because that would automatically nulify their Ego; theo one thing most cherished by them. TA was a study case of Narcissism.Whoever has some free time should look it up.Then a lot of the things he said and done will be clearer.

  22. Well guys, hold down the fort for me. I’m off on a long road trip to see Rush tonight. Great band. One of Canada’s best. Don’t let the “others” get you down. We are giving them a reason to exist.

    MUHAHAHAH!

    • BevM, have a fantastic time! I too love Rush. My favorite song from them is Tom Sawyer.

      • Thanks ladies I did have a great time. Long drive and not much sleep though. They did play Tom Sawyer. It’s my favourite song too. They played most of their new CD, Clockwork Angels and for that they had a stringed ensemble on stage which made it exceptional. Played for 2.5 hours.

          • OMG Carol he was amazing. His drums are completely around him. I have a lot of respect for drummers. I don’t think most people realize the skill involved unless they’ve actually tried to play them.

  23. To whom it may concern:
    Google Translator is a BITCH! Dont use it unless you wanna sound stupid and give native speakers a goooooood laugh! 😉

    • Oh, Maria, I know what you are talking about!! LMAO! That was the best reading ever! Actually both times! The newest one was hilarious too! Gotta give them some credit for trying and making us laugh so hard it made us cry! <3

  24. Jodi’s latest Tweets

    ”Jodi Arias ‏@Jodiannarias 13h
    100k sigs needed by 8/2 “To Honor the Granite Mountain Hotshot Team with the Public Safety Officer Medal”http://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/award-granite-mountain-hotshots-division-prescott-fire-department-presidential-citizens-medal …”

    Here is the link, the one she pasted doesn’t work (for me at least): https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/honor-granite-mountain-hot-shot-team-public-safety-officer-medal/qxd9cBYj

    ”Jodi Arias ‏@Jodiannarias 13h
    I think my status conference was moved up to 7/16.”

  25. I know the majority of folks here believe Jodi killed Travis in self-defense, but I can’t escape that niggling thought that someone else was involved in Travis’s killing and that Jodi didn’t do it. Remember when Dr. Samuels’ testified, he stated that he and Nurmi persuaded Jodi to switch to self-defense and she did. Prior to that, Jodi had stuck to her story about intruders. I have a very hard time believing that Jodi could have killed Travis in the way this crime occurred.

    (1) She is much smaller than Travis was and, even if he was wet and slippery, he could have easily tossed her to the ground or body slammed her as she described, at which time, she would have been rendered unable to get up to even defend herself, much less begin stabbing and slicing him with a knife. I am speaking from experience here, as many years ago I was involved with a man (my first abuser to whom I was not married), loved to punch and slap me. When I would try to defend myself, he would just hurt me worse, rendering me incapable of defending myself.

    (2) How on earth could Travis’s roommates not have noticed the horrific odor of death? My laundry room is in my garage, which is outside of my house. I went down one morning to put a load of clothes in the washer and there was a baby possum lying there that had apparently died during the night. The smell was putrid and disgusting. Imagine what the smell must have been like in that house with a human body lying there for days.

    (3) How could such a well-liked, gregarious and extraverted guy like Travis not have been missed for so many days, particularly in light of the fact that he was expected on a conference call I think the very day he died, and that he had a trip planned to Mexico? Most people who are planning that sort of trip with someone else would be trading phone calls daily about something like that.

    (4) Why would Jodi travel to see Travis if she had murder in her heart and instead have lots of sexual diversion? Why wouldn’t she have just killed him in his sleep instead of taking him on with a kitchen knife. It makes absolutely no sense to me.

    Just some things that have given me pause since I started following the trial.

    • I agree with you SD. I just cannot help but think that Jodi had help from one of the roommates. When Flores questioned one of the roommates (I can’t remember which one) their story didn’t match up to what they had said earlier and the timing wasn’t right. I am surprised that Flores did not pursue this. Jodi was not given a fair trial because evidence was hidden by the prosecution. I am hoping for an appeal to go through because I feel that if Jodi has a better defense team she will go free.

    • SD, those are some of the exact things that I can’t wrap my mind around either. These things have bothered me since the beginning. There is something very wrong here. Also, how in the mortal hell could a jury hand down a M1 conviction with so many unanswered questions? LIES is the only answer I can come up with.

  26. SC,
    You’re not alone.
    I just can’t get it.
    WHY did they get her to change what happened.

    It just doesn’t make sense at all.
    So how did they do it?
    You know what they say, if it doesn’t make sense, there’s a reason.

    • Aly and cj, my mind definitely meanders down too many paths of “what ifs” and “why’s” in this case to have been able to render a guilty verdict (had I been a juror). I’ve always been that way, though, not just in subjects as serious as this one. I rarely consider matters of this importance to be taken at face value, and would rather err on the side of caution rather than sentence an innocent person to life in prison or the death penalty.

      I think at this juncture, the best we can hope for (if our suppositions are indeed correct) is that someone will feel convicted enough to reveal what really happened.

      Nevertheless, whatever happens, I do pray for Jodi that she will have the strength to go through the days ahead.

      • SD,cj,Aly let me join your club! Please?LOL!
        SO so so many unanswered questions,so many things that just dont add up in this case.I know I dont sleep very well at nights after May 8th,how can those jurors?Isnt there a part of them that goes’what if I got it wrong?’ Did they close the door and left everything behind after their duty was over? Because if they didnt and they start researching they might end up feeling differently.There is so much controversial opinions out there (not everybody hates Jodi Arias,there are in fact critical thinkers who raise excellent questions)because the world is not HLN and their stupid panel and I’d like to believe that one day these jurors (or even some of them) will have second thoughts.
        UNLESS of course they are as stupid as Tara,who is by the way still babbling about it in her own disgusting I-love-the-Alexanders-and-I-worship-the-ground-they-walk-on style!

        • Well, Maria, obviously there were some of them who couldn’t vote for death. That gives me hope. I will admit that I don’t believe there is a snowball’s chance in hell that she can get a jury that isn’t tainted for the next phase. How could she? This case has been talked about ad nauseam even internationally. Where will justice find her lovely face in this mess?

          • SD,
            I was hoping that they could move it, but like you, I don’t know it could be that they haven’t heard about it. I was hoping for a mistrial. but I guess it’s too late for that OR could I be wrong? Does it have to in AZ?

            • No, Aly, you aren’t wrong. Mistrial cannot be declared anymore. The jury has spoken in this case and the only thing left is the sentencing phase. I’m just wondering how they’ll find a fair and impartial jury. I personally believe it’s an impossibility, so I wonder how all of that will play out. We shall see.

  28. Just to say I’m in excellent form today.

    (1) Worked a bit on http://debra-milke.wikispaces.com/#
    (2) Sent SJ an email re my coldcase
    (3) Wrote and posted my first letter
    (4) Went for a bike ride
    (5) Posted a comment re “team cupcake” ( google team cupcake news)

    We are in a heatwave – having a barbecue later with friends.. I;m going to play the piano a bit and relax.
    Have a good week-end everyone!

  29. Okay, so now I know why so many state witnesses raise their hands and then perjure themselves and comport to the state’s case. If you tell the truth about the prosecution,, you get your butt fired. Of all the appalling things that have come out recently about the US justice system, this tops the list for me. Shame on you State of Florida!

    • I do too. You may get fired if you dont lie! This also happened with John Bradley in the Anthony case. He didn’t work in Florida but was not allowed to testify to the truth.

    • Here is example from David Camm’s case:

      “I would like to add the cohersion placed on the first medical examiner and her findings of the autopsy, regarding the alleged molestation. This poor women was put through heck as well. She never believed that Jill was molested. However the prosecutor pursued the ME to change her findings. When she did not she was forced to resign and now is no longer with us.”

      Point (6) at http://david-camm.wikispaces.com/Problems+with+the+investigation

      Incredibly corrupt.

  30. We have a whistleblower law in Canada and this man would be protected. The judge is still out on the prosecutorial contempt of court ruling on that withheld evidence.

    • I think firing him may have been to send a message to those who work for the state who also testify for them?

  31. Happy Saturday Team Jodi!

    I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend! 🙂

    ((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))

  35. ” Jodi Arias ‏@Jodiannarias 4h
    A girl recently turned me on… to country music. I used to dislike it but not anymore. ”

    • After watching ‘Nashville’ this year, I started appreciating country music too! It is very nice music writen and sung from the heart!

  36. FYI,

    SJ banned Renee today.If you have problems with this, please go to SJ. He also told me any direct references as in naming the other site outright is not okay. We are not a message board for that site and that warning includes everyone ie the mods as well.

    • JC,
      I must say that I’m taken aback by all this;I dont know what happened but I respect this site and its admins.SJ must have a good reason to ask us to stop any references and I am more than happy and of course willing to follow his advice.This place is my home.

    • Thank you for letting us know, JC. As my (now 23 year old) son told me a long time ago when he was in kindergarten, and upon asking him what he learned in school that day, he replied, “Mommy, we have “wools” (rules) and we hafta follow them”. So true in life, always.

      • LOL! I love kids. My dad used to use the analogy, ” he who has the gold makes all the rules” to teach me about life and how to deal with those in authority.

        • Gotta love those paternal/maternal analogies that live with us forever, even after they’re gone!

          • I don’t want to lose my parents. I know that I will someday but the thought… I’m so close to them, love and respect them.

            • It’s very hard, JC. My daddy died in 2006 and my mother died last year. After their deaths, I felt much like I was in a glass bubble for months. I was so close to both of them and I still cry in mourning for them, though I know they are in a better place and, good lord willing, I’ll see them over yonder one day. Still, it’s so very hard to not have them here to see, touch, hug and love on and to go to them for their wise counsel. Oh, darn, hope I don’t sound too maudlin or depress you or anyone else.

              • Many of my friends have lost their parents, and their grief reminds me of what’s to come when my parents go. I can only imagine SD. I’m sorry you lost them. 🙁

                • Marianne, we share a common bond. Losing your parents is heart-breaking. Please accept my virtual {{{hug}}}.

  37. ((((((((((((((((((((Renee)))))))))))))))))))))))

    There are still some that have NOT nor will we EVER ban Renee from our lives. I am one of them. My friendship with Renee goes well beyond this website and is actually a REAL LIFE friendship for those who choose to believe Renee and I are just keyboard messengers. My friendship with her is NONE of anyone’s business nor is it up for discussion.

    I will miss Renee posting here. True. But she is NOT out of my life nor will she ever be.

    If I am going to be banned because I will NOT backstab Renee, please let me know.

    • No Janeen you aren’t going to be banned and nobody would expect you to choose unlike others… I have friends SJ banned too.

    • Hey, Janeen. Please ask admin for my email address. I would post it here, but I don’t know if that’s appropriate or not. There are some things I’d like to share with you privately.

          • Oh, what the heck. Here’s my email address: m and here’s my phone number: Please feel free to reach me either way. If anyone uses these means of reaching me nefariously, I have total control of that. Take care.

              • SD because I care about you! Your phone number could get you hurt as they can find exactly where you live. and the emails, well they will use it to come in pretending to be someone else. Remember? she emailed you. check it.

                • Well, thank you, JC.

                  At this stage in the game in my life, I am not worried about being hurt. As for the email, yes, you are right because someone pretending to be me posted on this website. I thought that was so childish at the time, but now I see what you mean.

                  However, I checked my email and I have received nothing.

                • You are braver than me! I also thought of all the b.s. phone calls you might get too. I apologize though for causing you confusion!

                • SD,

                  janeen mentioned just now in here, that she emailed you. I gave her the email you used here.

                • JC, if they called me, I feel sure they would be amazed at the reception they would have received.

                • You were right, JC. She went into my junk mail for some reason. I will respond now. Thank you so much.

  38. Is this permanent ban or just for a few days? I like Renee’s posts and the fact she has the mettle to visit those other sites and tolerate their bs. It was interesting to hear some of their ignoramus views although I don’t really care what they say because I have formed my opinion and nothing can change it. Jodi deserves to be a free woman today. It’s just a damn shame that hatred and a group delusion about the type of person TA really was is clouding the judgment of others!

  39. Wow guys sorry to hear about all the turmoil. Renee I respect you and will miss reading your posts. You tell it like it is and I like that. You don’t take shit from anyone.

  40. So, I think it’s about time that I say this. As a person who has, unfortunately, been in their fair share of abusive relationships, there are often little to no signs of abuse. I think if one looks closely they will see that Jodi was being isolated & willingly isolating herself for Travis. She loved him very much, of course she would hide anything that might make others question her choices. By Travis isolating her & her isolating herself due to a flawed sense of loyalty, the abuse was more easily hidden & it made it more difficult for anyone close to her to notice that something was off. My ex tore down my family & friends constantly, telling me they were worthless people for A, B & C reasons, that they didn’t really love me, that even they thought I was terrible… So I shut them out when they were the only people who could clearly see what was going on. I, on the other hand, was looking through rose colored glasses & would have done anything to convince myself that he loved me. My little sister hid the abuse she was going through even from me, & we are the closest with each other. She told me that she wanted to tell me a thousand times, especially when I asked how many times he’d hit her, but she just got mad at me & stormed off. He broke their daughters leg as an infant & not long after I knew for a fact something was on, he molested her, a toddler… She pulled the wool over her own eyes. She saw things that she didn’t even remember until much later. The child was removed from their care because of my call & she hated me, but she has thanked me sincerely since she has begun healing. She’s remembered things that she had simply denied to herself. The situation has killed her & she has finally both seen him for what he is & forgiven him for his illnesses, but refuses to forget what he has done. The point is, when you love someone unconditionally eventually the conditions will change, & even when she knew Travis was sick, she chose to stay by his side & help him fight his demons. Obviously, they both had their own issues & the relationship was volatile, & this should be a lesson to men & women about domestic violence. No one knows what happened that day, but Jodi’s testimony is not some outlandish tale, it actually makes a lot of sense if you have ever been in a relationship like this. Yeah, she lied, but she was scared & you have to ask yourself what you would have done, & what you would have done to protect the reputation of the man you loved after his death, to protect his legacy. This was a very sad incident & I hope that others can see it for what it was & learn from it.

  41. Hey MB!
    Really good write-up there on the anatomy of the TA/JA relationship. My personal belief is that she was made vulnerable by the emotional chasm she experienced with her parents-the key people in her life and even though it toughened her up in some ways, and matured her in her handling of life, in that one area she was like an open wound. TA recognized that ‘glitch’ in her and like most abusers zeroed in on her and kept buzzing around her like a fly drawn to honey. He was never going to let her go, esp. after she wizened up on his angle. Its a fight that many women unfortunately go through, and even IF they ‘win’ in the end, they end up ‘losing’. Most times only a handful of people will be on their side, but many times its nobody, or an uphill battle trying to get others to believe. This travesty must be over-turned somehow, and her life be given back to her. Where are all the groups that typically stand up for issues like this?, where are the pro-bono lawyers that should’ve been beating down the door to assist her? This all just seems so unreal and unfair. Can this really be happening? The silence is deafening. Sorry for the rant. Haven’t posted for such a long time. Many personal things going on that have made it mostly impossible to keep up with anything else.

    • Hi Introspective,

      I have also noticed the silence. I wonder what the silence is about. It is always about something.

      • Hey Marianne,
        Yup, the silence speaks louder that all the words… Nobody seems to want to put their hand in this, and those in it are looking for ways out. Beneath the surface, I’ll bet it leads back to something or someone pretty big and powerful. Hope it doesn’t sound too ‘conspirator theory’.

    • Nice to see you back here, Introspective!
      I agree with you; people who are in the legal field should have been protesting about the travesty that Jodi’s case was. Human Rights groups and most importantly Domestic Violence groups should have been all over it.Unfortunately even when some of them raise their voices,they are usually stifled by the overwhelming shrilling screams of people who dont like Jodi.

      My personal opinion is that WE should be doing something. I hate it when things go quiet mainly because I HATE it when people start fighting in an enthusiastic kinda way and then lose interest. Tuesday is near;we will find out what’s to happen with the sentencing phase and then we will know how to proceed. We are Team Jodi and we have this place as well as our Task Force haven to work things out.

      • Hey Maria,

        How are you? I’ve barely had time to even breathe lately (and ongoing). Nice to touch base with you and with MB and JC (via email). There’s just something so unfair going on and this word doesn’t even begin to touch the tip of the iceberg that’s underlying this case.

        I though for sure, soon as they announced her being ‘guilty’ and with her sentencing being imminent, that those who know what really happened would be so consumed with guilt and come forward to tell the truth. Wow, amazing that no one has the b*lls to do that! They are sitting on their *sses waiting for her to be put to death or locked away forever and not a bit of conscience peeking through. Just incredible – and no whistle blowers on the state’s corruptness either. Its got to be just that miserable community, becoz look at FL. Despite the threat of losing one’s job, it did not deter the state employee from calling out the Prosecution teams unethical handling of matters in the Zimmerman case. But then too, 2 have already gone dead (AR and the brother of one of the close knit group – don’t r’mber the name in the TA/JA case), so it must be something BIG or serious. Someone on one of the threads did bring up something interesting that, both Doc. Samuel and KN HAD to CONVINCE her to change her story to Self-Defense!! The truth has to prevail!

  42. Though the two cases are not alike, I’d like to say something.
    I wish, as hard as one could wish, that Jodi Arias’ and George Zimmerman’s verdicts had been switched.
    Thus why I believe there is no God.

    • I disagree.

      Although I did not follow George’s case in detail, the facts were clear to me.early on ( just one or two points needed to be confirmed )

      http://trayvon-martin.wikispaces.com/

      I still dislike what George did – and I’m very strongly against handguns – but I think the verdict of the jury was correct.

      He expressed genuine remorse – I would have given him a short community sentence – but that option was not open to the jury.

      Let’s not take out our feelings of anger about Jodi’s case on George ZImmerman who has also been subject to a campaign of vilification.

    • I totally agree with M.
      It relates to this story.
      Self defense? AND Jodi get’s MI, DP or life in prison?
      How can anyone believe Jodi’s wasn’t self defense, but GZ’s was?

      It’s a self defense case in both.
      Yet one walks and the other WILL get life in prison or DP.
      I don’t understand.

      • There were reasons : of course it is not fair to Jodi.

        Some of it is circumstance : Jodi unfortunately generated enormous prejudice. She lied in 2008 for the best of reasons, but lying is hard to understand and easy to misinterpret.

        Some of it is that the jury was not sequestered. Some of it was the circumstantial evidence, which to someone who is prejudiced could look incriminating.

        Some of it is the case is very difficult for a jury to understand – and the jury selection process if very unfair – firstly removing intelligent intuitive thinkers by removing honest, intelligent people who are against the DP. Then excluding people with experience of DV.

        Then the prosecution was dishonest in many ways – we also saw this in George ZImmermans case.

        Then Jodi didn’t have money to mount an effective PR campaign or get effective pre-publicity about her case.

        Then Jodi didn’t have money to pay her bail – it’s a huge disadvantage to be locked in jail awaiting trial.

        Then the prosecution told lots of lies, and spread misinformation. That happens in a lot of US trials.

        They broke many rules, they didn’t disclose evidence… so many things.

        Then Maricopa County is I think the most corrupt, stupid place in the Western world.

        Then she is a woman, and there is a high level of misogyny in the United States generally and in particular in Arizona.

        So all these factors conspired against her, and made the legal process grossly unfair.

        But that doesn’t mean we should take it out on George ZImmerman.

        • Oh, and of course I missed out that defense witnesses were intimidated and even “turned”, due to the intense publicity….

          And other intimidation… it was a perfect storm of injustice.

          But it WILL be corrected.

          • I must say geebee2, I agree that Jodi’s verdict WILL be corrected.
            There are so many issues with Jodi’s trial its insane – as you pointed out above.

            I hope you dont take offense to the fact that you and I have different opinions on the GZ case. And honestly, I dont have much more to say about it, just needed to vent last night.

            We do however, completely agree on Jodi’s case.
            And here, thats all that matters – Justice for Jodi.

            Thanks geebee2 for all your posts and hardwork, I do appreciate you.

        • geebee2 –
          Good ol’ Georgie lied and changed his stoires as well, while being recorded.
          Granted, his lies may not have seemed as major as Jodi’s, they were still lies.

          I do agree that it was an approriate call to have the jury sequestered, I dont think that in a trial where someone is dead it should even be an option not to have a sequestered jury.

          However, I did follow the Zimmerman case, though not as intently as I did Jodi’s case.
          And no one would have ended up dead if Zimmerman would have just listened to the dispatcher’s and not followed that child (what he even referred to as a “kid”).
          But, when you know you’re armed with a killing machine that you’ve been dying to use (he had 5-6 previous 911 calls in 6 months prior to the killing for the same suspicions), why not follow the kid, right?

          I am not taking my unhappiness with Jodi’s verdict out on George.
          I honestly feel Jodi is innocent and George is not.
          And would have felt the same way about George even if Jodi had gotten her freedom.

          I just wouldnt have to wish that the two could switch verdicts…

    • Well, I can’t say I would want zimmerman to have jodi’s verdict and have them actually switched because then I would be playing god with things I know nothing about (since I did not watch the zimmerman trial)…but if I had to make a choice, Jodi is a far better person than Zimmerman.

      I wish the Arizona court had been managed as properly and the jury sequestered like Florida did.

      It sounds like Florida is more professional and upstanding as far as that goes. Woo Hoo Florida on having your shit together on something!!

      Also, it helped that HLN didn’t spin it as bad. At, least it didn’t seem like they did to me. I don’t watch HLN, but with Jodi’s trial even I had trouble avoiding the headlines on the news. I didn’t see a bunch of people going on tv telling lies about zimmerman and calling him a serial killer in the making.

      • (((((BeeCee)))))
        That’s right! I havent followed Zimmerman’s trial either but the 2 things that were talked about in different groups were 1)the sequestration of the Jury and 2) the Judge’s control of her courtroom.
        Now,we ALL know that these 2 factors had a HUGE impact on Jodi’s verdict. So unfair…. 🙁

        • I agree maria, those two things were of MAJOR importance and Arizona utterly failed.

          ((((Maria))))

      • Good morning my dear BeeCee –
        I understand the playing God idea.
        I guess I dont personally wish that I could switch the verdicts, but rather, that the verdicts had naturally been switched themselves.
        The brains of Jodi’s jury had been in the brains of George’s jury?

        And I do agree completely – no question about it, the jury in Jodi’s case needed to be sequestered.
        I also feel like HLN didnt treat Zimmerman’s case as they did Jodi’s.
        I wonder if that had something to do with fear of public outrage?
        Because honestly, I think the majority agrees that Zimmerman was innocent.
        I do wish Jodi’s case had been handled professionally and by a court that wasn’t totally corrupt.
        Things may have been different for Jodi.

        However, I best leave George’s case alone.
        I dont want anyone to lose focus of Jodi because I was just making a bold statement about my feelings last night (and I’d had a few drinks…so that doesnt help with my boldness). 🙂

        Hope all is well for you BeeCee, with family and what not.
        Glad to hear from you!

        • I knew what you meant dear M. 🙂

          I am trying to pop in now and then when I can…I am way behind on the pages, but trying to keep up with everyone even if I’m not posting much.

          (((((everyone)))))

  43. Good morning. It is a lovely Sunday.

    I just finished reading the posts above.

    To be honest and fair about things, this IS SJ’s site and he HAS website rules. Many times, I too, have not followed those rules and it is unfair for SJ. I understand his point of view: he doesn’t want his site to become a circus like the haters’ site.

    Somehow, the haters have got to us and we lost focus. This site is for supporting Jodi. Yes, we do rant about what haters write because we are human and we do not like to get bullied but imagine what this site would become if we all started posting answers to the comments made by the haters. Chaos and Madness would rule!

    Renee’ is a longtime Jodi supporter and she will continue to be one. It is the haters that just couldn’t let her be that brought her to the point of lashing out.

    SJ, sorry for the times I dissed your rules.

    Renee’ I hope you guys work things out because you are loved by many of us here and your absence will be a real loss.

    As for the haters, all I want to say is that, I am going to stop reading their site and I will focus at what really matters: Jodi’s innocence.

    I am offering the peace pipe to them and ask them kindly to stop involving Greece in their posts. I will also stop commenting about individuals there. I would appreciate it if my peace offer was taken and we can all go our own ways. We must agree to disagree because this vicious circle of hatred will never end.

    SJ, JC, MB I said I am in for the long run and that still applies! This is my cyber family and my cyber home and from today on I will keep focus on the purpose of this site: to prove Jodi’s innocence and to help her find justice.

    To all my fellow Jodi supporters, I would like to apologize if at times I have made you uncomfortable with my off topic comments addressed to the haters’ site.

    Have a great day, all!

    • Hi Pandora,

      Great post. Yes, I think a small number of people lost focus… they allowed themselves to get sidetracked by the haters… and they subsequently spent more time discussing the events at other sites than they did here. They in turn proved themselves to be very weak. They will not be missed.

      Thanks for your ongoing support!
      SJ
      Team Jodi

      • Hi everyone. I read the comments from above and I’m sorry to see Renee go, but I also respect SJ and the rules laid down here. I will continue to honor these rules. When I first joined this website a couple of months ago, I had no idea that I would wind up having my posts featured on here or be friends with so many of you. Initially, my plan was to keep a small profile which is one of many reasons why I chose not to use my real name on here. I was also genuinely concerned about reprisal attacks which is why I initially chose not to post under my real name for security reasons. I have always been proud and never ashamed to support Jodi Arias. I have always been proud and never ashamed to be here with all of you. And I have never lost focus on bringing justice for Jodi no matter how many attempts there may have been to distract, discourage and disappoint. I’m in this for the long haul and, mark my word, WE WILL WIN.

        President Reagan once said “The future is not for the faint-hearted, it is for the brave”. We are the brave ones. Jodi is brave. It takes courage to take a stand that is not the popular one or the path that most people are unwilling to choose. You have chosen to do this, knowing full well that this choice invites you to all sorts of criticism and personal attacks. Yet you continue to stay strong and persevere and remain unflinching in your steadfast support of Jodi Arias. That takes guts. Bullying does not. And, call me crazy, but I like to believe that the good Lord rewards those who do His work and He is watching out for Jodi and all of us. He knows who’s telling the truth and who isn’t. And, when all is said and done, those who have chosen to attack Jodi Arias and her family on HLN and elsewhere will have plenty of explaining to do when they leave this Earth. Never underestimate the law of Karma. It works.

      • Hi SJ,

        It is good seeing you on here. Hope you are enjoying the summer. MB & JC have been watching the site. MB wrote a wonderful Front Page a few days ago. Oh, and this is the week something is decided in court for Jodi. I am sure you are much more aware of any of this than I am. Have a wonderful day!

  44. Renee, you will be missed sorry to see you go.

    (((((RENEE))))) (((((HUGS)))))

    Ray in H-burg Va.

  45. George Zimmerman was a guy trying to make a difference in his neighbourhood. The state he lives in passed certain laws. If not for the pics of the multiple goose-egg lumps all over his head, and his broken nose, he would have been gound guilty. It bothers me though when they make out that he was just an innocent kid when the evidence clearly speaks that he was the aggressor, the guy on top, not the guy screaming for his life. GZ mentored two African Amercan boys, had African American neighbours and friends and one at least on his defence team. Maybe I’m just a “creepy ass cracker” Canadian who does’t understand.

  46. Well I for one will be very happy to return to our previous objective which is to support Jodi. I think it’s bad for all of us to focus on other sites that we can do nothing about. I do my best to keep negativity out of my life and I hope we can try hard to focus on our support for Jodi from now on. Of course we are going to vent and when the penalty phase begins again I am sure we will all have lots to say. Obviously we are some sort of threat to some people for them to spend the many hours a day they do, reading our posts, reposting them, and dissecting them with a fine tooth comb. Only too bad they didn’t have more to do with their lives huh? I am sure the government who supports most of them would love to know how they are spending their time. If they can type so furiously, put them in a back room doing data entry at the very least, or as Judge Judy says, “collect cans”!!!!!

    Anyway, looks like a beach day for me. Lots of night shifts coming up this week. Gotta enjoy the sun while I can. Enjoy your day fellow Jodi supporters. Stay strong and remember we are all in this together.

    • Bev, I don’t believe we are a threat to them, but instead the source of their indignation. They say that all of us here have posted vile and ugly things about the victim’s family and that that gives them the right to expose us by posting our real names and any comments we have made vilifying the family. I will say that to my knowledge and my best recollection, I have never done anything of the sort.

      I will agree with them on that point. The Alexander family is reacting the only way they know how to do given the fact that Jodi herself admitted to killing their brother. I believe that is untrue, but that’s neither here nor there in this topic of conversation. If my brother was brutally killed by someone who admitted doing so, I would be equally incensed.

      Like, JC posted last night however, and at the behest of SJ, I will refrain from making further comments about this subject.

      I do so hope that the truth will come out in this case, sooner rather than later.

      • SD, Yes threat was a poor choice of words. It just sticks in some people’s craw that we have our opinion, are voicing it, and are refusing to change that opinion. That’s unfortunate for those who don’t agree with us but last time I checked, we are living in a democracy. It grates on me that I can’t change some people’s opinion about Jodi, but I won’t dwell on that.

        I don’t recall having said too many negative things about the Alexander family. I know if I lost my brother the way they lost theirs I would take it very hard and would take a long time to get over it. The thing that annoys me is the way they appeared to be playing up their grief for the cameras, and I am sure we will see more of that as this trial continues. Also the fact that they were raising money while I heard they were enjoying trips etc. If that is true then there’s no need of fundraising for them to go on trips. However, when people fundraise, the receivers of that money have the right to spend it any way they choose. If the donators don’t like the way they spend it, they can choose to stop giving. That happens around here when people fundraise for someone going through unfortunate times. The people are put under a microscope and their spending is sometimes criticized at times.

        Anyway, I don’t want to dwell on this topic anymore either so let’s all just forge ahead, carry on and stay focused on our real purpose here. To support Jodi and do whatever we can to help end this nightmare for her

  47. I know almost nothing about BDSM and I don’t believe that Jodi did either. She was in a vulnerable stage of her lilfe in debt from the Palm Desert mortgage and wanting to be married and have a family, and was quickly sucked into TA’s rather bizarre ways. First sexual encounter was him sneaking into her room for uncomfortable oral sex.,Second one was oral sex in car after receiving Book of Mormon, third one suddenly found herself engaged in anal sex after just being baptized. It’s all about power and control on TA’s part and Jodi going along to please him. What does she say – she felt like a prostitute, felt like a used piece of toilet paper, felt deflated, etc. Travis stopped kissing her on the lips fairly early into the relationship, woke her up at whatever hour of the night he chose to call. Once in a blue moon he treated her the way she should have been all the time, just enough to keep her there as long as she stayed. ALV ‘s continuum covers sexual abuse in domestic violence relationships.

  48. I’ve decided it’s too easy to say something wrong that offends someone so I’ve decided to quit.

    • Canada Carol,
      I am so sad to hear you say that you are quitting. If you stick to supporting Jodi ther is no reason for you to feel you are offending someone. You have been most kind and your posts always are on the topic and focused on supporting Jodi. Please, take some time off but we are waiting for you to come back. Everyone needs to get away from time to time.
      Hope I see you soon.

    • Carol,
      I agree with Pandora. Do take all the time you need. You have never,ever said anything that offended someone.On the contrary,your posts are spot on and your contribution as well as any other Jodi supporter is invaluable and needed. We cannot afford to abandon this ship right now. I dont agree it’s easy to say something and offend someone here; it is very easy to quit when the storm is coming.And oh boy…we have survived a lot of storms during this trial,we can definitely win this war IF and only IF we stick together.
      Jodi needs each and every one of us.Please do not leave.

    • No Carol don’t go. Take a break and then come back to us. I don’t recall you ever saying anything offensive. We need you and want you to stay.

  49. yeah well it’s perpetuated all the time by men: women like to be treated like shit and it turns them on. I know a lot about this: I’ve been to sex clubs and I know all about role playing and so on …….the two become blurred and confused but it stands that outside of a game that two people consent to that is simply untrue. most of the time it’s men who pay dominatrices to pretend to abuse and berate them. This, however, is not life. It’s a complete cop out to fall back on sexual fantasy.

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