Jodi Arias Trial Day 20

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Jodi continues her testimony for the 8th consecutive day, including the events of June 4th 2008.

Leave your comments below on Day 20…

Team Jodi

Website featured on ABC 15, Feb 19th:

*** Click here to leave a message for Jodi ***

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    • Good job! Too bad they didn’t read the rest of the comments of our theories in this case.

      Be prepared for the “haters” to arrive. SJ is going to be working over time!

      • Kudos, SJ, on the TV news coverage! Thanks for creating the site and giving voice to a great community — one that believes Jodi deserves a fair trial and some support. Too much hate on most of the other sites. Glad you don’t let the mean, quick-to-judge bullies ruin things here.

        • I thought the same thing Nicole! I really wish they would have read more of the comments. Jodi deserves the support and I think it’d be nice for the public to know that there is such a STRONG, support of presence here.

  1. OMG, I had an epiphany.

    Travis’ mood swings could have been drugs or alcohol. I mean, he was going to clubs (not a Mormon thing to do), about to “lose” his house (where did his money go? And, this guy had roommates), he was staying up all night (perhaps cocaine?).

    Or, he could have been bipolar. They have HUGE mood swings.

    This is all conjecture. But, it gives us something to consider.

    • I have also been wondering where all his money was going. Either he was not doing as well as he claimed with PPL or he had somethings else funneling all his money away?

      • I don’t think his business was doing quite as well as he was making it out to be. CH had said his business began to suffer after he met Jodi, yeah that is the reason, it couldn’t possibly have been that people were not buying into the insurance. He had roommates that were paying $450 per person to live there. Even if Travis was doing everything he could to get people to buy into the product, if his downline wasn’t he would start losing money.

        • With those types of businesses, eventually people run out of contacts to market their plans to. It’s the people who get in early on the “pyramid” who are able to collect off of their downline – most people in the business don’t do nearly as well. Travis had the “Executive Director” title but that means nothing. Some of these MLMs will call you a “Vice President” as soon as you sign up.

        • Debbie- WOW! $450 per person?! He should’ve been living rather comfortably with that kind of income coming in from roommates, don’t ya think? I mean, I don’t know how much his mortgage payments were, but it seems he was living above his means/ being irresponsible with $…?

      • $$$—yes interesting. Did you pick-up when Jodi said that Travis owed someone $2000 but if he took their babysitter to Mexico they would forgive the debt? I think Travis was in over his head in debt after the PPL gravy train started to slow down. I really started to take notice at the photos from inside his house. Have you really checked out the furniture he had?! That is expensive stuff! Plus the fancy car, the fancy suits, custom shirts, etc…

        • I noticed that too that his furniture was top of the line stuff. His family didnt have alot of money did they? Sorry I havent followed alot of this trial it is just today that I saw Jodi as a victim when I saw her testify.I didnt really have an opinion before that just felt bad for all involved

        • Someone posted info about Travis and his house a while back. It was something about refinancing. I can’t recall when it was, does anyone remember? I would like to read it again.

        • Same here. I definitely get the impression TA was living above his means. I know you’re supposed to dress for success and all, but at some point, people often take it too far. You only hurt yourself (financially) in the end, being so materialistic.

          It also spotlights an insecurity you have. People can see through you when you’re always “shouting out” how much better and more successful you are. I had already suspected this about TA. But when Jodi said he made sure she overheard him tell someone how well-off he was doing, I knew for sure he was faking it.

    • I agree!! He did not sleep normally (neither did Jodi) seems like he spent alot of money writer, poet, comedian,animal lover,family history of substance abuse,salesman

      • My ex-husband worked with one of Travis Alexander’s Mormon friends several years ago. The man that my ex worked with, no longer lives in Arizona and he is now a practicing dentist in another state. It was common knowledge that Travis mostly hung out with upper middle class and wealthy Mormons. Classicism goes on quite a bit in the Mormon community. Many wealthy Mormons don’t associate with middle class or poor Mormons outside of church. One of Travis’ rich Mormon buddies Karl Hiatt is a plastic surgeon who appeared on HLN the other day. Travis was probably using good ole Dr. Hiatt for financial reasons. I’m not being pretentious or snobby, but it has been obvious that Travis made buddies with wealthy doctors, dentists, and others to make himself look good. Travis didn’t come from a wealthy family and he also didn’t have a college education. He lucked out in making wealthy friends because he managed to buy a house and a BMW with some off the money made via the PPL pyramid scheme. At the time of Travis’ death, the economy was tanking and eventually the gravy train would have dried up. Travis didn’t have any other job skills or an education to fall back on. Travis was an uneducated white trash boy with a grandiose attitude.

        • I don’t know if he bought his house with money made via the PPL.

          It was a nearly zero-down home finance agreement at the beginning. It was sold for $249,918 in 2004 and a had mortgage $249,834.

          I don’t see any large dollars going towards the home investment.

          My first inclination is that he took equity out of his home to finance his lifestyle. In 2004, the home finance boom was taking off. By 2006, banks were handing over cash for homes w/o even inspecting them. Travis was sold more debt based on the appraised value of the home, I’d wager.

          The man was leveraged to the max. In 2004 he owed close to $250,000 on his house. In 2006, he increase the debt to $336,000. By 2008, he’s knocked down his debt a whopping $3,500 refinancing again a total of $332,500.

          That comment Jodi made about Travis having said, “I’m trying to save my house, start a business…” or something like that makes perfect sense if I’m right.

          Travis was a debt machine. He didn’t even carry life insurance sufficient to leave his family or his church with a home…. the home, arguably his most valuable asset fell into foreclosure and auctioned for a winning bid of $206,000 to what appears to be a total stranger.


          • Jon, thank you for clarifying on the situation with Travis’ house. My ex didn’t know Travis, but he heard a lot from Travis’ buddy and others who knew the buddy and Travis. Travis was a debt machine like you said. I honestly wondered how he was going to get himself out of that rut. My ex didn’t like Travis’ buddy that much. My ex has also been keeping up with this trial and he feels that that Jodi was really pushed to the edge because of how Travis treated her.

        • Sarah that is very true most likely became involved with the Mormons for money and connections he would lose that if he was exposed. Jodi exposing him would have been more constructive for vengeance then killing him. If she truly wanted to hurt him all she needed to do was expose him. So i cannot believe it was premeditated.

          • Travis was introduced to Mormonism by his grandmother. He didn’t come from a wealthy Mormon family. Travis’ family at best can be described as a solid middle class. Again, I’m not trying to be snobby. Travis was a greedy social climber and he used other wealthy Mormons to get ahead in a social sense. He worked for a pyramid scheme and at times he rode on the coattails of wealthy established Mormons. I said this in a previous post, but cliquish behavior goes on quite a bit in Mormon communties. My ex and I also met other Mormons and ex-Mormons and there are many poor Mormon vs. rich Mormon incidents.

            Mormonism is a religion that strongly encourages women to not work outside the home once they have children. Some Mormon women do work outside the home in addition to be wives and mothers. But is common to see some Mormon families that are constantly struggling because the husband isn’t a high earner. Then there are Mormon families that manage quite well on one income because the husband is a high earner. Now in Mormon wards, the trophy wife Mormon ladies and their families are in their clique, while the constantly financially struggling Mormon women and their families are in another.
            Travis probably saw this stuff going on as a child and as an adult he wanted to be apart of wealthy Mormon clique. His “job with PPL was a joke. But being buddies with wealthy Mormons allowed him to feel apart of wealthy clique.

        • I do believe Jodi. I went an read Travis’s My space page an other blogs he has out an he was a very arrogant man. I know it was wrong what Jodi did but I believe she knows that. She told some stories like she said because she did not want to bring all this out. I still wonder tho if she had help? I just can’t see her pulling that HUGE guy around an putting him back in the tub?

          As far as why would she drive that far for sex? he talked her into that. She loved him an he used her. She hoped it would change an it did not. As far as a man wanting anal sex all the time I feel he had some gay tendencies. He was not some good Mormon man he had some sexual issues that would really turn off most women. An he probably does have a history out there but none of those women want to be on tv for the world to see an tell what a freak he was in the bedroom.

          His voice on that recording was so arrogant you could tell he was conceited an thought he was God’s gift to women. I have met men like that an walked away I guess they attract some women an I do not see how. I hope it is a lesson for some men an women that push people to far sometimes to know the meekest ones will bite back eventually.

        • Rhonda, this definitely fits what I’ve sensed about him. Specifically, it’s irritating that he viewed Jodi as “not good enough,” when he came from a far worse family circumstances than hers.

          I think he fell for her, but was cowardly and let peer pressure drive an wedge between them. Instead of having the courage to go with his heart, he valued chances to social climb through marriage.

          I’ve sensed that Mimi probably came from a well-off Mormon family. I thought Lisa probably came from a similar family — if not from money, then a family highly-regarded.within the LDS.

          Jodi — an LDS newbie with no connections and no family name known in the community — never had a real chance. Travis’s shallow friends who “mentored him” saw to that.

          • I agree with you MsCharlieChan and Rhonda about Travis. He was arrogant and a social climber. I agree Jodi was a newbie to the LDS world and that wouldn’t have helped Travis socially. I felt a bit bad earlier for calling Travis a white trash boy, but now I don’t. He thought he was all that and a bag of chips. He was mostly air and I also find his sisters to be classless. Travis was estranged from some of his sibings, I bet he would have been embarrassed by some of them. Travis probably knew his rich Moromon buddies would have looked down on his family. As far as I know none of TA’s siblings are wealthy.

            Rich Mormons can be the worst people in the world. They are arrogant and ignorant about many things. Moron Ann Romney once said that serving a Mormon mission was the same as serving in the military. It isn’t the same. Rich Mormons like I’ve mentioned before have very cliquish behavior. Travis’ family history wasn’t that great. There was drug addiction and dysfunction, his rich mentor Dr. Hiatt and others probably looked down on Travis for that, but they never told him. TA’s friend that worked with my ex was also very arrogant and had bigoted attitudes towards certain groups of people.

        • I hadn’t considered steroid side-effects to be a possible explanation for TA’s emotional volatility.

          I checked the toxicology report, and TA was not screened for steroids. He was tested for many other drugs, both prescription and street drugs. I don’t think that toxicology reports usually test for steroids.

          I don’t know how decomposition would effect toxicology reports, so it is hard to tell how accurate the tests are. But it doesn’t appear that TA was tested for steroid use.

          As a newbie, I don’t know if linking to the autopsy report is appropriate, so I’m not linking to it.

      • exactly my thoughts tonysam. also would explain his hyper sexuality and his obsession with UFC fighting, and his mood swings. He definitely
        fits the mold of someone who would take them.

    • I really believe the apparent changes in attitude were cunningly used to manipulate Jodi’s responses to his behaviors.

      I got trapped for a couple of years by a guy who could be Travis’ twin – the Mormonism.

      It makes you doubt every decision you try to make, keeps you focused on them to your own detriment.

    • Yes someone posted last night they thought “roid rage” steroids. I thought it was plausible since the working out/ weight loss issue was talked about yesterday. GREAT thinking!!

    • I was wondering about steroids. He was all into getting into shape and as Jodi put it “getting a six-pack” for his trip to Cancun. Ever hear of “roid-rage”?

    • On the topic of drugs: maybe he was taking something to help with his weight-loss program? Either legal or illegal. If that’s the case, then an addiction would only enhance his assholery, not cause it. But, drugs could’ve used up some of his money. So could’ve porn.

    • It is common and “normal” for addicts to have mood swings and to be full of hatred; they hate themselves for their thoughts and perversions. (I live with a recovering sex / porn addict). I am just now watching today’s trial and I don’t think I can finish… my eyes sting and I cry and just think how victims get into these situations. People must remember that Travis was from a family of addicts – who are, by nature, master manipulators so it is very logical to conclude he would grow up learning how to manipulate, as well. One is not “taught” how to act by their parents like we are taught in school, one learns how to interact with others by watching and learning from their parents. He grew up and figured out how to manipulate everyone in the Mormon church to believe he was pure and his perversions were merely normal man feelings (they are not and if you treat women like this you’d better get help). He manipulated his ex-gf “Lisa” into believing he was a virgin, didn’t cheat with other women and eventually manipulated her into believing it was later on “okay” to grab her ass in public (she stated this in re-direct). He manipulated – on a mass level – people into believing they could become rich from a MLM. (They are listed in consumer affairs as a two star rating along with 110 complaints along with a host of complaints to other consumer oriented websites.)

      It is tragic his “friends” thought he was normal and did not push him to get help. The Mormon Church should consider a review of what they teach their young people if all his “friends” thought he was normal. In addition, they may want to review if there was any child abuse going on; if Travis was an elder he had power. He used this power to manipulate Jodi, so how many others? There should be an investigation.

      • Wonderful post Cindy.
        I agree on many levels.

        Its very scary his ability to manipulate almost everyone, it seems.
        Even in death, he’s got people convinced!

        I dont blame Jodi for not calling 911 (not saying it wouldn’t have been better had she, I dont know).
        Look what she was in for!
        I cant honestly say that I think it would have unfolded any differently had she called 911.

    • Great observation about the drugs and alcohol. I don’t know if anybody else thought this, but when I heard Travis talking on the “phone sex” recording, I said to myself, “I am listening to a man who is drunk off his ass.”

      He was about as Mormon as I am.

      Great job with this site – it is much needed.


  2. Did anyone see Gus on Dr. Drew last night? I loved how he put Dr. Drew’s guest in her place when she said he had “credibility” problems and was “almost giddy” to testify. He pointed out that he never went after the limelight like “others.” And, that the news people were calling him – not the other way around.

    With that said, I think he still has his dates wrong. I do NOT think Jodi called him after the murder. I still think it was the time when Travis was discovered.

    • Nicole I agree He always makes mistakes I think purposely. I think the point he was making is that they did not call him because the Hughes blackballed him

    • Dr.Drew is so fake it would be way more credible if he was not so one sided but he makes obvious comments supporting Travis while ignoring The giant White Elephant in the living room. They talk about being a liar, Nancy Grace stated last week That Jodi’s Father never left welts on her she actually plays the tape where Jodi Says SOMETIMES & Nancy Grace quotes Never, You can not take these people seriously. Gus was very credible. The Sleaze Bags on these programs Dr.Drew Nancy Grace are too prejudice. Travis was very disturbed and the temper she describes is very typical of a deviant. I am not saying he deserved to be killed bu,t they need to hear her side in its entirety, they have from the onset condemned her like a blood thirsty lynch mob. So anything she says is a lie.

      • I agree. I have been in relationships with men who are MONSTERS behind closed doors but are boyscouts in the light of day. Many times in relationships even the best ones we are different people to our partner then we are to others.

      • Nancy Grace is a blight on America. I swear she gets more rabid every damn day, and she has nothing of value to add to any issue.

        Why does anyone agree to be a guest on her show? She never, ever lets her guests speak.

        I used to like Dr. Drew. He’s become too tabloid now. CNN HLN is a waste of time and airspace.

    • Love me some Gus! He doesn’t take any crap, and puts people in their place pronto! I will give Dr. Drew credit though, at least he put him on there. I’ve noticed over the last couple of days JVM has also had people on her show that are more leaning towards Jodi and her side of the story. I think they are finally seeing what we have been seeing all along, and now they are worried about looking ignorant like they did with Casey. Trying to cover their bases…makes me laugh!

    • Yes, I saw Gus on Dr. Drew — and he was misleading (by omission) about when exactly Jodi called him crying, saying Travis is dead. He made it sound like she’d called him a 3:30 a.m., hours after the incident. When it fact, I discovered, that she called him almost a week later, after she’d gotten the call from Dan Freeman.

      Gus wants to be too important in this case. I think he has a right to tell all that he knows about it. But misleading the public that way wasn’t cool. He’s making his critics right when he does this.

  3. It’s great to get public recognition for our cause. Even if it does draw some haters I think SJ does an awesome job weeding them out.

  4. WOW, the recognition of the site is freakin’ amazing!!! I hope Jodi hears about it; think of how encouraging it would be for her to know how many of us are rooting for her (especially during this hard part of the testimony). I’m smiling and proud!!! =)

  5. Speaking of which… I’m from SC so nothing starts for me until 12:30. I have a lot to do this morning (just dropped my 5-yr old off at school) so I’m glad I won’t have TOO much time to sit and let my anxiety build over Jodi’s hard day of testimony this afternoon. I’ll bet she didn’t get much sleep again last night, poor girl. I hate that she’s in this situation!!!

    I’ve been doing a lot of pondering since yesterday. I’m 5’2″, 112 lbs and my hubby is 5″10″, 191 lbs; I’m not a weakling by any stretch of the imagination (I AM a Country Girl), but there is absolutely NO WAY IN HELL I could physically
    1) Inflict all those knife wounds (some of them at a downward angle, back/top of the skull),
    2) slit his throat – in ONE cut, with a kitchen knife – from ear-to-ear all the way through his windpipe to his spine (do you realize how much musculature there is in a human throat/neck?), OR
    3) Drag his dead weight, literally, down that hallway, back through the bathroom, and then lift & position his body in the shower the way he was found.
    ESPECIALLY not in less than 2 MINUTES… And not leaving bloody footprints, fingerprints, etc ANYWHERE. Heck, even if I was clothed and my husband was soaking wet and naked in the shower with his back to me, if I took one of my sharpest chef’s knives and stabbed him as hard as I could, he’d be turned around overpowering me in a heartbeat just on instinct and reflex alone. Jodi had 2 tiny little cuts on her finger – No bruises, no gashes, no scrapes, no signs of all that struggle.

    Oh, btw, how about this for irony? Jodi has no pics of Travis’s physical abuse to her, therefore the police say it never happened; the police have no pics of any physical trauma to Jodi from killing Travis, but the police KNOW she killed him. Yeah, read that again and let THAT thought sink in…

    Where are all of Jodi’s bloody clothes? Shoes? Belongings? Proof that Jodi cleaned herself up or took a shower? The GUN? And why the Hell would she put the camera (with the memory card in it, no less!) in the WASHING MACHINE?

    They have a hair of hers at the scene. Okay, she’d been to his home multiple times over the course of 2 years; that hair could have been there for months, years even. A single bloody palm print that they say is hers, but no fingerprints? PUH-LEASE!

    If Nurmi and her defense team hadn’t gone with the whole Self-Defense thing, there’s no way she’d have ever been convicted. Not in a million years.

    ***Okay, rant over***

    • I agree with Ashley, it would be very difficult for a woman to do all those things to a much larger man. I was having this exact discussion with a friend last night who is 4’11 and about 90lbs compared to my 6’3 230lbs. I told her if she was to inflict the first wound in an area that left me incapacitated, I wouldn’t be able to do much to defend myself after that point. A stab to the throat, the heart, liver, any major organ, would leave me pretty much open to attack after that.

      One thing I’ve heard a few people mention though; where is this “2 MINUTES” or minute and a half coming from?

      Don’t get me wrong peeps, I’m a supporter of Jodi. I don’t think Travis Alexander had to die, and I really don’t like people saying things like “he deserved to die” because no, he really didn’t. He may have been an a**hole but many guys are. I’m an a**hole at times too, not sure I deserve to die because of it. Regardless, I do believe Jodi is guilty but somewhat justifiable in her actions IF she truly felt her safety was threatened.

      • It’s my understanding that the magical 2 minutes that everyone is talking about, comes from the timeline of the photos. The last photo of Travis in the shower (posing and alive), I believe was 1:38 before the final picture with that camera was taken.

        So, 1 minute and 38 is what a lot of people are referring to, I believe. SJ has a photos timeline page somewhere on this blog.

        Dog & Ashly: I’m also interested in knowing what you mean when saying that it would be hard for a small person to do all these things, especially under 2 minutes. Do you believe she did not kill, even in self defense, and that others–like she originally reported–killed Travis? I was just hoping for some clarification, because I know some felt that she was claiming self defense in court, while actually covering for other people.

    • To add again to your comment, during the police interrogation Jodi stated that IF she were going to kill someone (premeditated), she would wear gloves. “I have lots of them” she said. I think most intelligent people would wear gloves if they were planning to kill someone. The fact that she is aware of the importance if you will of not leaving fingerprints (palmprints) at a crime scene shows she did not pre-plan this, it was something that happened as a result of a chain of events.

      And yes, it makes NO SENSE WHATSOEVER that she, as a photographer, would not think to remove the media card from the camera, or even leave the camera behind to begin with. It also makes no sense that she would remove the weapons used in the crime from the scene and dispose of them along with her bloody clothes yet leave behind a camera with photos on it??? I’m sure she knows about photo time stamping and Exif information left on all digital images. Things really don’t add up at all.

    • yep, ALL very good, valid points Ashley.
      the camera in the wash is a BIG thing. it’ll b explained i assume that she was freaking out and get away and that was a mistake, etc. or got lumped in with clothes, again as a mistake. “they” always say a killer will make mistakes… that’ll b the inference.

      the other stuff the DA will say she used her martial art skills…

      the 2 mins. timeline is on the defense side! and remember the defense has experts coming, right?
      that should bolster jodi’s testimony.
      jodi should resonate with female jury members, and if th males are anything like the males on here, they’ll come away thinking TA treated jodi HORRIBLY.
      ive never spoken about any of my x-girlfriends in the terms TA used toward jodi. and i do NOT consider myself a super nice guy!
      we all realize that says a LOT about TA as a person and he didnt respect himself.

      • I think she was just mad at him for objectifying him with the camera and his worship of material possesions. He was very angry over the BMW!!

    • Ashley completely agree with everything!! I’ve been screaming these same things! Im in Colorado. But I’m from South Carolina (my hubby is military). I saw your screen name and wondered if you were from SC because I always agree with your posts. Maybe we “country girls” have strong BS Sniffers. LOL!

      • Jodi stated yesterday that Travis used a knife in the bathroom that came with his butcher block set of knives. The police said all the knives were in their sets. My question is, who got those knives if anyone? I wonder how they feel now knowing that one of the knives they have been using to cut up their food for the past five years was the knife that was used to stab Travis. Oh yes I am very bad at times LOL!!!

        • It’s difficult NOT to have morbid thoughts like that, Debbie!

          I wonder, though, how they can know for sure that a knife wasn’t missing. Many people had lived and were living in that house, and knife sets can get mixed up. I wonder, too, if the police wouldn’t have examined/tested knives from the kitchen as potential weapons. And, would Jodi have been in a state of mind to carefully clean the weapon and put it back in its proper place? What would be the point, when the grisly bathroom scene said it all? I think she took the knife with her when she fled.

          • Jodi said that she put the knife in the dishwasher. Did she run it? If so, then all of the blood could have been washed off and no one would be the wiser. No knives were missing because the knife was still there.

        • I have thought about this too. I thought about how the detective mentioned there were knives in the dishwasher. It was days after the dishwasher was ran that they found him. chances would be good that someone used the knife. So disturbing.

  6. With the exception of the upside down license plate thing, I believe the defence has done an awesome job of eliminating pre-meditation, thus removing the possibility of the death penalty. It is unfortunate that they couldn’t canvass the area where Jodi claims kids were messing with her car and find someone to either admit to doing it, know someone who claims to have done it, or find another motorist that has had that happen to them in the area. I’m sure that umpa lumpa will do his best to convince the jury that this is just too convenient an excuse. Bravo to the team for explaining the gas cans and the colour of the car.

    Looking forward to/dreading today’s testimony. I watch to support Jodi, and I know that when she explains those dreadful few minutes in the bathroom that the final few pieces will complete my puzzle, but I so hate to see her suffer up there. If this isn’t enough to finally break her, I’m sure poppa smurf will do his best to shatter every last nerve the poor girl has left when he gets his turn shortly.

    My advice to Jodi when under cross would be to treat danny devito like her own lawyer; be polite, be just as descriptive, apologize to him every time he lurches at her and his ears start smoking, and shake like a chiwa-chuwa- chiuau-chiua-small spanish dog every time he yells.

    • Sorry but I cannot find a correlation between an upside down license plate and killing someone. If anything, an upside down license plate would draw attention to the car, not keep attention away.

      • Exactly. If you want to be inconspicuous you do not put your license plates on upside down. She stated she didn’t want to rent a red car because she was told they get pulled over more often, well, an upside down license plate would have the same effect.

        • My expectations are that they will lead the jury to believe Jodi removed the license plates before arriving at TA’s to avoid anyone remembering all or part of it while she parked at TA’s, then pulled over shortly after leaving town and put them back on. In her haste and obvious frantic state of mind, didn’t realize she had put it back on backwards. It is the only scenerio I can come up with that would please the prosecution.

    • The complaints are not shocking. Almost all MLMs are a scam where the bottom levels work their butts off to pay the few at the top and help rotate more suckers in to do the same.

      Maybe that’s why he got so mad at her for not reaching her monthly goal… It hurt his bottom line?

    • the shame is it IS a good idea IF truly done the way one would suppose. it the “fine print” that the scammers use on unsuspecting, honest people, etc.
      happens FAR too much in this country.

  7. I just went through and looked at all of the crime scene photos again. I have several questions..

    -Was he killed outside of the bathroom and then drug into the shower?

    -The photos that were taken when he was in the shower look like he almost could have been dead already. There was only one photo with his eyes open but it doesn’t look like a normal facial expression you would make when getting sexy photos taken of you in the shower. I also thought the photo of him with his arms crossed over his chest was a little strange.

    -Also, some of the photos have date / time stamps but some do not. Does anyone know for sure if they all were date/time stamped or could it just be the ones I was looking at were cropped off?

    -Also, in one of the photos they mention blue pants with a stripe. There was another one where they mention it could have been a picture of a shoe and then there was the bloody shirt in the washing machine. All of this kind of makes me wonder if he was killed before he got into the shower. He was killed, then placed in the shower then all of the other brutal slicing and dicing happened.

    -The photos are just raising red flags to me.

    • The photos that the police took of his body yes he was dead already, for five days. Those pictures were taken in the shower.All of the pictures taken of him in various poses in the shower were taken on June 4th before he died. There was blood all over the master suite,except in the walkin closet, Interesting to note though, that although some say he was killed in the bedroom and dragged back to the bathroom, there are no drag marks in the hallway to the bathroom from the bedroom to support that theory. The blood was dripping down the walls all the way along the hallway, on both sides at times

  8. I’m a big supporter of innocent until proven guilty. I have been on the other side, as the accused person of a crime that I didn’t commit. My day in court was long awaited.
    Couple of things I didnt like about the testimony yesterday is Jodi said she picked up the gas cans to buy cheaper fuel outside the state of California, but in the end, she ended up buying gas in California. That doesnt look good, and you know the smurf will be all over that. I would assume she came accross a place that had cheaper gas than some of the other places, so she jumped on the chance to get cheaper gas, but why didn’t she wait? Hopefully she can explain it away.
    She also said she had only been hit once. I know what she meant, she was being technical. A kick, shove, push, or throw down she doesnt consider a hit, only when he hit her close to the face.
    I’m glad she had text messages to support her testimony about him. She was indeed only trying to make him happy, and she was stupid, and a fool, and was taken advantage of and she didn’t even know it.
    Today will be a tough day for her, I hope she doesnt say a bunch of times she doesnt remember things, it will look bad. I’m not sure how you could forget the end rusult of that day, when she is so good at details of all this other stuff. I guess thats why they will have experts come in and say its typical that events like this can cause some blank spots in memory.
    On another note, these people on tru tv are a joke. They must want her to get the death penalty. Thats pre meditated to me! 🙂

    • Blanking out things that one does not want to remember happens all the time, especially with abuse victims.It is a way of the brain to protect oneself. If there are things that she says she does not remember, she truly does not remember them, her brain has blocked those memories from seeping through.

      • Yep. The experience was so traumatic that it would be natural for her to block some details from her mind.

        As for buying gas in California, maybe she needed it earlier than she thought she would. At any rate, the gas cans have nothing to do with the crime scene. The prosecution is really reaching with the Murder 1 charge. Martinez just doesn’t like to take plea bargains because he gets off on being a big shot.

        • Thanks for the input on the memory thing. When I was younger I had an uncle shoot and kill someone, and at his trial he said he didn’t remember anything, that he just blacked out so to speak. I was 14, and I thought how is that possible? I had been through some pretty tramatic things myself, but I remembered all of it. Regardless, there is enough evidence to show that she was being mentally abused. Her testimony says physical as well, but I think we will have a hard time showing actual physical abuse. In my opinion though, I dont think she would deserve the death penalty in a case like this. I sure hope not. I hope that manslaughter is the end result, and the main reason I hope for that is because of all the media and the way they have flipped the trial.
          Today should be a massive day, and I feel so bad for her to have to go through this.

    • I confess I used to have a temper (20 years ago) and was a bit of a brawler. I’ve “come to” during a fight and can’t recall gaps of several minutes. It wasn’t from being knocked out, in my case it was from reaching a level of rage, but its something that does happen.

      Jodi and other witnesses stated they were all in to UFC, and Jodi testified Travis would brawl with a punching bag around the living room. If he managed to clock her even once in the head during all of this she could have completely blanked out but remained conscious and then gone in to (to use a UFC term) “survival mode”. Its during that time you do whatever you need to do to stay alive.

      • Interesting.

        Ive lost it and don’t remember certain parts. I dont remember things that happened when i was in that relationship either. My son does though. he says, ” do you remember when insert name threw you over the couch and took your glasses and shoes so we couldnt leave? He was barely 3. I kind of remember that. Parts but i couldnt tell you much. THANK GOD I got out of that mess.

  9. I have SERIOUS anxiety about today (well, I was also up for the last 24 hours working on a thesis…so at this point i’m shaking from too much caffeine!). Anyhow, I’m still PRAYING for Jodi every chance I get. I started to get a little worried after yesterdays testimony- I felt like the defense made some poor strategy choices. Hopefully the jury has got the point that TA was painfully abusive.

    Thinking about you Jodi! You have so many sisters (and brothers) out here rooting for you!


  10. hey guys! I need a big favor. My sister is in town for only a short while and I need to see her today of all times. I know that in session has part of the trial so I will set that on the DVR but what picks it up when HLN is over?

  11. Good Morning All 🙂

    I don’t suppose the trial coverage has started yet…..11am EST….

    I feel really nervous about today’s testimony…….I just hope she remembers…….and that whatever set the final events in motion comes across clearly !

  12. I didn’t notice Travis’ sisters writing notes until yesterday, the day Jodi began talking about the day Travis died. Do you think they’ll write a book? They seem to love the attention and get made up for the camera.

    • Lemonsucker always wears tons of make-up, even at home so normal for her.

      SmileySmirker, I don’t know, but I too noticed all of the frenzied note taking yesterday and was wondering what they’re doing.

      • I didn’t know the sisty uglers were there when it all took place!! So, they can help the prosecution with their own eye witness testimony!!!

        Being sarcastic Deb 😉

    • I am satisfied in the fact that the sisters now know in their brothers own voice and text messages what a creep he really was. They can no longer say Jodi is lying about any of that! Not the perfect Mormon virgin as he liked to claim to be. AND I still want to know who this Ester person is that was mentioned as the person to introduce Travis to KY, or some other kind of personal lubricant. Driving me mad!!

  13. i wish jodi would thro TA under the proverbial bus a bit more… like re the pigtails, to say that TA wanted her to look like a lil girl wouldve been boffo. to add that to “it loox hot”. that really tie it in to the phone tape + the 12yr. old girl comment

    but i can understand what she is doing…

    • Frank – Me too. I wish she would admit to being afraid of him. She constantly minimizes how she feels towards him. I know the experts will tie this aspect together for everyone, but to hear her constantly minimize his actions towards her bothers me. I doubt she even realizes that she is doing that, even 5 years after the murder.

      • If you are Jodi’s personality type , like I used to be, you feel everyone is better than you…hence all the I’m sorrys, sometimes without knowing why you are even saying that.
        To bad mouth another person is almost impossible to do.
        I used to make excuses on end for other people , doing things I would never forgive myself for doing.

        • Yes, I used to be that very same way when I was Jodie’s age. It’s not too hard seeing some portion of ourselves in Jodie, especially at that young, impressionable stage of life.

      • I think she still feels too guilty to speak ill of him. She doesn’t want it to appear the way HLN zombies accuse her being, like she is victimizing the “victim”. That may turn the jury off also.

          • It is so sad that when Jodi speaks the truth about TA all tha talking heads acuser her of victimizing the victim. Since when is a man that treats a woman the way he treated Jodi a Victim . Yes he was a victim the day he lost his life but for years JODI was his victim for years. Being a survivor of domestic Violence the abuser always made me feel that he was better then me by degrading me over and over. I think with her life she had lived up to that point and what he was now telling her she BELIEVED what he was saying and did everything to make him happy like all women whose partner abuses them does!!

      • I’m sure it is because she in some ways believes that it was her fault! She has extream guilt because she loved him. “This is classic of someone who has been abused”. Believe me I know!!! I truly believe that the defense has done a fantastic job in laying this all out for the jury. The text messages in yesterday’s testimony where he speaks of revenge and the recorded call of him wanting to tie her to a tree are hard to explain away.

        I too also wonder what the sister uglies are thinking of their dear sweet innocent brother now. . .

  14. I got done with all my errands earlier than I thought.

    Okay, to help keep me from going to crazy while we wait the last hour, may I ask you all what Country or State you’re from? Click “Reply” and answer. I’m curious to see where everyone is from while we all watch our friend Jodi fight for her life (for the 2nd time) together online

    I’m from South Carolina (and thus, my username, lol)

  15. I am on pins and needles I am so nervous I can’t even choke down a bowl of fruit loops ;/ Poor Jodi I hope she stays strong today and like another user here stated I hope Jodi hears about this site. I feel like crying, I know she must be feeling all types of emotions, she is probably feeling raw and scared. I am sending mental hugs to her 😉

  16. Yesterday, Jodi says she (can’t remember if it was her or Travis) put the laundry in after sex upstairs. So how did the camera get in there? She goes back up stairs and takes more pictures, so It did not go in there when she put the laundry in. Unless I missed something?

    • The laundry she was referring to was the bedding, after they had sex on it. One of them put that in the wash. That laundry was later found in the dryer by investigators. The camera was in the wash with shirts and socks so that must have got put in there later.

      HEY…. Jodi says Travis got angry about her dropping his new camera, maybe he was like “it’s garbage now, might as well throw it in the washer”. Or some god-fearing mormon was feeling guilty about the sex photos and videos and decided they needed to “wash” them away.

      • Ok ignore my previous comment. I forgot about the time-stamped photos of Travis on the camera after he was dead or injured (which meant he couldn’t have put it in the washer himself).

    • Has Jodi admitted to putting the camera in the washer? Did Travis’ roommates not do laundry? I mean, 5 days and it all just sits there… I have to wonder if Travis’ friends didn’t find the camera and throw it in the washer, trying to rid it of the photographic evidence that he was not, in fact, a virginal man of God. It would make sense to me that they would want to protect him.

  17. With this talk yesterday about TA’s goals with getting a six pack and his weight loss, his money problems. Anybody thinking steroids maybe he had roid rage? It was mentioned on yesterdays thread, but I think maybe got lost in all the traffic.

  18. Congratulations SJ!!!

    You have and continue to do an amazing job..thank you!

    I hope Jodi has a chance to see this page and see that there are people who support her.

    Changing the tone a bit…. What I’ve been thinking lately is what if Jodi was a 12 year old girl who was with Travis and with all the emotional, verbal, physical and sexual abuse she killed him. Everyone would call her a hero right? Parents want pedophiles away from their children or better yet kill the bastards! Yet they are the same type of people that defend Travis day and night. Damned if you are, damned if you’re not. It’s just an all around contradiction. Just because he was a Mormon doesn’t mean he was a saint. Look at all the catholic priests sexually molesting kids. Religion has nothing to do with pedophilism (if that’s even a word lol) pedophiles exist among us every day and death is not the answer. Unfortunately for Travis his time was up.

    • Hi Suzy, yes, I have been thinking the same thing. The prevailing attitude out there is that sexual abuse is a thing that happens only to children, but grown men and women can be victims too. A lot of women are raped by their dates/boyfriends/husbands. At one time it was LEGAL for husbands to rape their wives! People don’t know this. And men are raped, too, mostly in the prison system but sometimes on the outside when a male wants to establish dominance and humiliate the other man. That is the first thing my mind came to when Travis had anal sex with Jodi after the baptism – he was establishing dominance, who was in charge, ect. IMO it had nothing to do with what was less of a sin or not, those phrases were just thrown in to disarm her.

      Travis’ provoclivities indicate that he was headed down a road where he could hurt kids. A lot of their so-called “sex games” seemed to be nothing but practice runs; and then there’s the comment about him cruizing for young boys so there you go. The dude got issues and wasn’t get help, plain and simple.

      I hope people remember that rape is about power, and contempt for the victim. Travis showed his contempt by calling Jodi “Pollyanna,” so it’s clear to me that he hated, even despised, her sunny outlook on life. He wanted to change it and that he did – when she moved away and the fog lifted; he went right back into rage mode.

  19. Didn’t the autopsy show traces of something to support this. I would need to research, but seems like I saw it discussed here before, and I was chalked up to some of the chemicals the body naturally produces during decomp.

    • Sorry *it* was chalked up. It was some type of alcohol? Don’t know much about steroids, don’t know if that would be an indication.

    • You know, I used to really, really like Beth Karas. Like most of the HLN family, I have come to despise them and their lack of professional reporting.

    • I really do not understand what the problem is with the gas cans…..

      When we used to go on family drives or vacation, my dad always put some extra gas in cans ” just in case”.
      I now do the same thing especially if I’m by myself or if I may not arrive at where ever I may be going after dark. To me it is just down to earth common sense! ~

      • Back in 2006 I used to go by car from California to El Paso. I rented a white car because they were the cheapest color and filled up a 10 Liter gas can because I traveled at night. Yes, gas was cheaper from state to state and when you travel long distances saving 30 C or so on a gallon will make a $30 difference during long trips. Well, what about SUV’s that sport a gas tank on the back of the truck! Are the drivers premeditating murder? The prosecution has no leg to stand on….

  20. This is so cool! We made the news. So close to the killing right now. what Travis did to poor Jodi. She is tottally innocent. The jury will see that this is self defense. Jodi is doing a great job. But, I hate to see her up there on the stand. It breaks my heart. If the jury doesnt find for Jodi this is a total miscarriage of justice.

  21. Jodi’s testimony yesterday is corroborated by Travis’s threatening text messages. Honestly, if you are afraid for your life it’s possible for a small woman to have done what she did to Travis. She was afraid in fight or flight mode! Today we will hear WHAT set off the chain of events that set Jodi off to find the only recourse she had was to kill Travis. I don’t think murder by no means is okay BUT after several days of testimony there is NO DENYING Travis was BEYOND verbally abusive towards Jodi. A woman in her right state of mind would react to his abuse SO someone like Jodi who was in a fragile state (the other side paints her as a seductress/villain but the truth is Jodi WAS and STILL is in a fragile state) would react even more after long verbal, physical and sexual abuse from Travis. AND even if the physical abuse is brought up as irrelevant THERE IS NO WAY! That ANYONE can say Travis wasn’t mentally and verbally abusive! This would’ve set ANYONE off and the consequences of a persons actions at that point irreparable. And sometime this type of abuse is worse because it rings inside of a person.

    • Right, when your life is in danger you can do things you normally can’t do You don’t know what you can do til you have to do it. Thats why I believei iit is self defense. Let her go right now seriously.

  22. Just got back from work(evening here),I havent been able to read ur comments yet,but I gotta say to SJ CONGRATS!!!!!thanx for having created a safe place for all of us to exchange our opinions and support Jodi all the way through.GROUP HUG!!!!

    • Hi Maria, you havent missed anything, it hasnt started. Lets hope Jodi has the strength today n that she has a good day.

      Has anyone heard if its true if the jury was moved from where they were sitting?

  23. Past 12:30 EST… where are they??

    I clicked on live link, no seal just a pic of Jodi from yesterday’s coverage.

    Is that what you all see with the link??

  24. WOW I can not believe on InSession they had the NERVE to call JODI a narcissist.. Are they kidding me? I am disgusted to my core how they are making a mockery of abuse. I am nearly in tears, I have never had to witness such a disgusting vile thing in my entire life. Oh and sorry for not saying this earlier, Congrats SJ!!! Thank you once more for this site and thank God it is filled with all of you wonderful SMART people.

  25. Oh I have a question a very silly one I suppose, I know Travis parents were drug addicts but where have they been in all of this? They haven’t be in the court room have they? I only seen his sisters there everyday and his brother.

  26. do u think that is a doctor sitting with the defense?
    my mom is an attny n says that that is protocol for witnesses having to recall tragic events

  27. Nurmi is doing well.
    He knows she has to answer these questions.

    It would be very hard, but he’s doing great at being stern in a nice way.

    • Why not? When you go in to survival mode you often don’t remember a lot of what happens next. Ever watch UFC? A fighter will be asked “how did you feel after that (for example) kick to the head?” and they’ll respond “I don’t remember anything after that” yet they continued to fight.

      • I don’t think the defense did a bad Job, this is a very very hard case because she lied twice and these lawyers were brought into this case rather late, Her Lawyer is trying to save her life. She will get life in prison but not the death penalty, due to the fact it was not premeditated. What he is trying to show is that she had remorse,and this was an accident and of course the experts will explain memory lapses.due to trauma, The problem with this testimony is that it is just not believable. She forgets slitting his throat stabbing him etc. Too convenient ,also too many inconsistencies The media will have a field day.What I think is odd to the average person is her inability to take responsibility, her relationships etc. are all someone else s fault. I know where this stems from but the testimony was too short in contrast to all the sex talk..

  28. Any Pschs out there? Is this normal to not recall stabbing someone? I’m wondering because the news freaks will be all over tjis part.

    • Actually, yes. I’m a newbie, so I don’t know how this will be received. But since the question is asked, I’m throwing this out there.

      My jaw hit the floor when Jodi talked about blacking out. While a traumatic event can cause total memory gaps for several reasons, current research on forgotten memory/false memory (this is how memory specialists refer to this issue in research. False memories have nothing to do with lying … they’re normal brain glitches) show that most of the time (a big most) adults do not lose all of a memory, even of very traumatic events. Adults may not fully encode traumatic memories, and can have missing pieces. But the research would not support missing so much of a traumatic memory. The brain just doesn’t miss this much of a traumatic event.

      Of course, research is all about averages, not individual cases. While there are some case studies to support memory gaps such as what Jodi talked about yesterday, the majority of research doesn’t support that Jodi would have so much of the event missing from her memory.

      It is very possible that Jodi sustained a concussion when TA body slammed her. A concussion, even without unconsciousness, could lead to such a memory gap, esp when combined with such a traumatic event. I think it is likely that Jodi would have such a head injury from such a struggle. She may not have known if she did have a head injury after such a brutal event. She fought hard.

      There is a problem with that though. There is no evidence of a concussion. I don’t know if the defense should have raised that issue or not. They could have asked Jodi if she hit her head when she was body slammed (or during other parts of the struggle). But the defense did not. In my opinion, that was a huge mistake. An enormous mistake. While there is no evidence that Jodi sustained a head injury, there is no evidence that she did not sustain a head injury. The defense only has to create reasonable doubt.

      Jodi’s lawyers did a horrible job prepping her for today Her lawyers needed to find a way to help Jodi piece the event together. If Jodi can’t remember the stabbing portion of June 4th, then her lawyers needed to do a much, much better job setting up a foundation to defend Jodi regarding her memory gap while she is cross examined. They did not, and they had options.

      While both the defense and prosecution will find experts to support “yes memory gaps” or “no memory gaps”, I don’t think the defense will pull this off. The research simply doesn’t give much weight to Jodi’s experience. Perhaps I am wrong regarding the defense teams ability to pull this off though. I don’t think I am.

      I had hoped that Jodi’s testimony would go just long enough to get her through tomorrow so she could rest for a few days before JM goes after her. No such luck. She needs a rest, esp after yesterday’s testimony. She looked exhausted today.

      That said, it takes just 1 juror for reasonable doubt. 😉 And that is possible. Likely? I don’t know. We shall find out soon.

    • Not good at all because Martinez will just rip her to shreds. However, I have to ask if this is common for people who have PTSD, and they just completely black out.

      • Yes . My dad had PTSD after filing for bankruptcy a few years back and he remembers very little about that time period now. The mind protects itself.

        Honestly I’d be more freaked out if Jodi said “and then the ninth stab wound was here…and the tenth was here….”

  29. She is screwed and I’m sad about it. I hate to say it but I think she’ll get life.

    I don’t see how anyone will benefit by having her spend her life in prison.

  30. ok so I’m supporting her,….
    still seems emotions or whatever a little lowfpossible?
    or the incident…
    any Psychs way in… is this normal?

    • I have a psych degree. Yes it’s normal and it’s premature for people to be sounding the death knell for Jodi. Let the defense finish with the experts.

      And screw Martinez…she shouldn’t be afraid of him.

      • I’ve been a psych nurse for many years, and I can tell you its not uncommon for someone who has been abused to show very little emotion. Severe abuse can make you appear cold, emotionless or almost doll-like. Its a survival tech. Hopefully the person who will be testifying for her about this will back this up.
        I had many many abuse survivors act this way, and to the lay person, it appears that they are cold hearted when in reality they are numb. Thank god she can’t remember much, otherwise she would of probably harmed herself in some way already

  31. Wow not remembering stabbing someone 20 something times and cutting his throat can’t be a good thing for the defense in the juries eyes and will give Martinez a field day on cross…I’m really hoping they got a expert to explain all this to the jury

    • Martinez was going to be a dick on cross anyway. Hopefully Nurmi will have Jodi’s back the whole time. Even if she remembered ALL of the stab wounds, Kermit would claim that she was lying.

  32. Shoot!!

    NG said when it came to this part the details would stop and the I don’t remembers would start!

    Jodi has to start giving details.

    I know trauma, fear, adrenaline etc……

    Nurmi tie this together ~

  33. The medical examiner was pretty adamant that he would have dropped to the floor unconscious after being shot. So this is problematic.

    • Thats what he thought, but because of the decomp on the body the bullets could have migrated to a different spot in the body than it originally entered. It was a small caliber gun – so hard to say.

    • My brother was shot in the head while out target practicing with his friend. Not only was he coherent, but he walked (with help from his friend) to the car.

      Trust me, he was shot in the back of the head and almost died.

      So, to say that Travis could not have been coherent is ridiculous.

      • I’m no doctor. Just going by what he said. If I was on the jury I would struggle with that, but I always think most anything is possible.

  34. It’s hard for me to understand this PTSD blackout … There are countless people on shows like I survived who recall details of their attacks , when they have had serious trauma to their person. I wanted so badly to believe her account but its so hard without her details.

    • please see my response above. Being a psych nurse for many years, its VERY common to have memory lapses, and not being to recall specific events. Normally they come out in dreams, the subconsciousness mind still remembers and bombards the vicitim while they sleep. I would imagine Jodi has nightmares of these incidents, but her not recalling alot of that day is very common. Its a survival tech.

      • Mel Amnesia from Traumatic events does happen but she remembers the Knife hitting the Floor and everything except the stabbing Not Good. Because Trauma exist does not mean this is credible testimony, especially weighed in the balance that the evidence supports he was stabbed first shot in the face not at close range. Unless they have testimony from someone stating he was shot first or could have been. I think she will get life but not the death penalty.

        • You may not find her testimony credible, but we don’t know that all of the jurors will feel the same way. Many of us here do.

  35. she doesnt remember the stabbing. This torally normal she wouldnt remeber everything. Jodi girl the truth came out you will be ok. I believe you.

  36. I blocked out an entire car accident and almost 15 years later I cannot recall any of it. The accident took the life of my 7 year old son, and was told I was screaming for them to treat my children and to leave me alone.

  37. 4 years ago my son died of SIDS…i was only 29. I checked into a psyciatric hospital in october 2011 n realized that i had PTSD. spent 4 months, trying to recall that day

    it took 3 months for me to get there and the day i talked about finding him etc… there was so mjuch i could not remember.. PTSD IS REAL AND DIFFICULT

      • thank u… i appreciate that

        and if anything, i should feel for TA’s family. they say the death of a child is the most un natural thing. that its not the circle of life… thr is an unspoken bod, so to speak

        and i dont feel that with his family…. brother, sister, father. im sorry but i dont!!!

        JA i blve, saved an innocent child of someone with the capability of hurthing them

    • Summer, so sorry for your loss.

      i think those of us who have lost people understand your deep emotions. AND those emotions can be sly and hide JUST beneath the surface… of course, we TRY to push them down. act brave, carry on, etc.
      it is VERY hard, but we do it. we deny, we hide them best we can.

      and YES, ppl DO grieve differently. i HATE when ppl on tv will say -about anyone- “who acts like that? who does that?”… after a tragedy.
      AND ppl acting like that anywhere -on tv or in the real world -makes it harder for the aggreived…

      best to you…

  38. im actually reading what i just posted, and realized i still cant talk about it, and i have no emotion while typing it…. and i NEVER EVER TALK ABOUT IT

    • Dear summer,

      You must relate to Jodi’s inability to get fully in touch with her emotional memories. It must be difficult to watch her. Again, I’m so sorry for your loss.

      • thank u again….

        and u are very correct. it took alot of time bc i was pregnant with my daughter when he died and i didnt know it till 2 wks after i layed him to rest.

        campbell, my son, was born on oct 8 and my gift from god, olivia, was born oct 15 one year apart….

        so i repressed big time

        and i have to say, when you loose a child, thr is this unspoken bond with others who have lost a child, brother, sister….. its not the circle of life!!!!!!!!

        it doesnt feel natural. but with this case, i dont feel that with TA’S family and im sorry if that offends others. if anything, i blve JA SAVED MY DAUGHTER FROM THE LIKES OF A TA RUINING HER LIFE

  39. NG lost someone to a murder, so I think she always has a chip on her shoulder.
    TA brought this situation to himself.
    He was a very dangerous ticking time bomb.
    note to self: never hang out with a person like TA

  40. I’m a huge fan of Jodi but this black out i can’t remember anything that has to do with me brutally stabbing him and cutting his throat in self-defense and then putting his body in the shower , jumping in my car driving away and throwing the gun in the desert can’t look good in the jurys eyes

    • The defense has a psychologist that is going to explain this phenomena. Its hard for people to understand that your mind does this as a response to trauma. Not uncommon, hopefully the jury will be able to here that without Martinez interrupting every 2 sec..

    • I have to agree with you…. I don’t think this testimony would have gone down well at all the jury… I think it would have been better for her to say in her opening statements, that she had no memory of the actual event due to ptsd, so the jury knew that was coming… I think the level of her recollection of even the tiniest events and then none might be able to be explained by this but I think pre warning that the build up was going to culminate in a blank, may have been useful for her…

    • Besides, not everyone acts to traumatic events the same way. From what I gather, she comes from a family that does not express their emotions.

  41. I THINK in some ways, her void of emotion, shows that she has processed this more than we may know………… unlike his pathetic family who IMO is using his death

  42. I THINK in some ways, her void of emotion, shows that she has processed this more than we may know………… unlike his pathetic family who IMO is using his death

    and she wouldj never say this, but im sure she doesnt care in some ways that she killed a

    man who liked to use n abuse women,had fantasies about raping children…… she, in some ways, saved some innocent child or womans life

    • exactly…I’ve been accused of having this “lack of emotion” or inappropriate responses to certain traumatic events, I have PTSD and have for many years. You mind does this to protect you from further trauma. Everyone responds differently, but she definitely has trauma related responses. It appears that she is cold, or “flat” but that doesn’t mean she is uncaring or lying. It really upsets me to hear these vicious media people trying to convict her before they defense has even concluded their case. They are all idiots,

  43. Funny there are pages of info about Tanisha (sister) but no info on the other sister Sam Alexander. Initially I thought she was a younger sister, she looked like a pre-teen but if she’s a cop she’s obviously a little older. Very immature and unprofessional behavior in court with the eye rolling and smirking, especially for an officer of the law.

  44. wow, I’m afraid her answers are a not more choked up… her voice sounds the same as other testimony…
    I hope the jury looks at the bigger picture…

    • In her defence it has been 5 years since it happened, personally speaking I wouldn’t be all that choked about it either. I’m sure she’s replayed the scenario a million times in her head over the years and has become numb to it.

      • Your right, she probably is totally numb to it at this point. If she is more upset or less upset, she will be criticized by media. But in the end they don’t matter…its the jury’s interpretation. I am sure the psychiatrists or whomever will take the stand after her will explain. One big problem comes when how she said she needed to make it look like she wasn’t at Travis’ house that day…

    • i hear u, but she DID squirt tears. that is very hard to do. its usually involuntary and from deep, true emotions…
      her saying saying something like “my life is over…” and a few other statements concern me, BUT i still think the experts will b important for her.

      and seeing ryan… but again who knows how one acts after something like that. think its self preservation mode.

    • Hi Alex, likewise. Check out the daily trial posts on the righthand side column. You can watch it in its entirety from day . There is also youtube for each day, just google jodia arias trial day__.

  45. We have to realize this is 5 years later. Tears don’t fall as hard years later. You can tell she is more upset than her other testimony.

  46. I believe it was self-defense, I really do. But I can definitely see how people don’t believe it, especially after this testimony.

      • The naysayers were all over her anyway, and would continue to be no matter what she said. Again, only twelve people’s opinions matter. Not Nancy Grace, not Martinez, not the other HLN goons, not the pro-pros boards. There’s enough negativity on other sites; it’s hard to keep reading it here.

  47. Do you think she has cried so hysterically about this whole thing so many times, that now she is at a point of acceptance, and not as emotional, so her voice isn’t cracking and changing pitch?

    • KDC –
      I think (dont know for sure) that you one isnt “allowed” to be hysterical on the stand.
      I would think the judge would call for a recess for Jodi to contain herself.
      Otherwise I’d be bawling all over the place, making the jury feel really awful, you know?

      Again, I dont know if this is true, but I think it is to an extent.

  48. The gun was at the house in TA’s closet. He went after her so she got the gun hoping to stop him and he lunged for her waist. The gun went off. I sat and cried through her testimony. She doesn’t remember stabbing him.

    • Oh hon me and you too. I feel horrible for Jodi and seeing her cry hurts ;/ I am hoping that this turns around and works all in her favor, I wish she could remember the stabbing

  49. Wow, Jodi has an amazing ability to stuff and hide feelings. This ability was there during her relationship with Travis, obviously. And probably before that, in childhood as well. I don’t think she chooses to do it; it seems more automatic with her.

  50. hmm, kinda sounds like she was a little too good at controlling herself around others… right after..
    Psychs: is this sounding normal to you?

  51. The shooting him and him still coming at her and trying to hurt her or kill her is still very possible with the caliber of the gun and the entrance and exit wound and then that left her no other choice but to grab the knife and stab him multiple times in a effort to stop the attack … Multiple forensic experts have countered the prosecution witness testimony and said that its possible for him to be shot and even said that the pics of the bathroom sink show evidence of him standing over the sink and bleeding into the sink and spitting blood after being shot …..I was really hoping that Jodi could tie everything together with the stabbing and the throat cutting ……Hopefully experts will make a save and tie some of this together

    • CJ, I wrote above that my brother was shot (way worse than Travis – in the back of his head) and he was still walking and talking until he got to the first hospital.

      It is VERY possible for Travis to still have been coherent.

  52. I don’t sincerely hope this happens but I almost hope that one day that smug looking sister Sam, the cop, hooks up with a guy like Travis one day and puts her in the position where she has to defend herself against a mad man. I’m sure she wouldn’t hesitate to pull her gun and shoot him.

    • Re Sam: I don’t think any normal man will want her after her displays of immaturity and sick behavior.
      And her fellow LE will definitely have a less than impressed opinion. She is “missing something”.

  53. oh my, I’m surprised the sisters aren’t in states of emotional distress.
    I still get very emotional about my brother who died in an accident, not his fault, back in 1988.

    • I know! They just are a piece of work ugh! I’m glad the camera hasn’t switched a lot over to them. I can only imagine how Jodi’s mom feels seeing and hearing how upset her daughter is, and how Travis came at her that day. I am so sorry about your brother KDC ;/

    • part is if she acts too emotional “she is faking”, if she is in control… TOUGH position to be in.
      AND this happened in her later 20’s, still pretty young emotionally. esp. jodi.

      • Imagine if she cried and sobbed on the stand…Martinez would demand that the jury leave and then he’d argue that Jodi was influencing them.

  54. Is it me or are his sisters not crying? I would not be able to hold back the tears hearing from the person who killed my brother.

    The skinnier sister looks in shock, but the other one is devoid of emotion.

  55. I really hope and i’m praying that Jodi will be able to stay strong and hold up against the brutal cross exam Martinez is going to barrage her with based on her lack of memory of all the details of Travis’ death in her testimony today

  56. I don’t understand why she wouldn’t have told the police about the gun belonging to Travis and given them a location of where she disposed of it. That would have helped eliminate the premeditation and eliminated the speculation that she stole it from her grandparents.

    Now she says she bought a gun in preparation to commit suicide. These are all very important facts that should have been revealed to her lawyers.

    • That’s true–but it is also true that type of gun is not a very powerful weapon. If she was planning to kill him, honestly, she would have gotten a better gun and killed him when he was sleeping. However, hearing her testimony it sounds like Jodi blacked out about a lot of what was happening, which makes sense–when things are really traumatic sometimes we erase them from our minds. Maybe she doesn’t or didn’t remember.

      • I was assaulted last year and, I still can’t remember the rest of the evening. I don’t even remember going to bed. Just felt kind of like I was hung over the next morning in a state of shock and denial. When I gave my police report a month later and cops were asking for details step by step it was so hard and they probably thought I was lying as many people think Jodi is. The whole thing totally sucks. I wish we could get some kind of proof other than Jodi’s word about Travis having a gun…just to set the record straight about that.

      • But she did testify she grabbed the gun from the top of a shelf in Travis’ closet and that it was his gun. She remembered that. Over the past 5 years, knowing she was going to be tried with first degree murder (which presumes she brought the weapons with her), she could have informed her lawyer that the gun belonged to Travis so they could check the background on that. It really doesn’t make sense that she would keep that to herself until now when its too late.

        Was the gun registered to Travis? She says she grabbed the gun off the shelf and I presume it was loaded and ready to go? Are you allowed to keep an unlocked and loaded gun sitting on a shelf in your house in whatever state it is he lived in? I’m in Canada, you can’t legally keep a loaded and unlocked gun in your house, at least not in Ontario.

          • Something needs to be done about that!!
            It means anyone ( ex cons etc. ) could just casually go and buy a gun, I’m floored !

        • I’m sure she did inform her lawyers. They aren’t allowed to make the information public.

          I had a feeling that she was not going to remember disposing of the gun because it seemed weird to me that the prosecution never looked for it or the knife.

  57. Guys, I just need to vent. Why is it so difficult–outside of our little community–to have a logical conversation with people about Jodi’s case? I tried to talk to a friend today and it seems that people who ARE NOT WATCHING THE TRIAL and are just listening to people like Nancy Grace and Dr. Drew already presume she’s guilty of 1st degree murder. How can people jump to conclusions, make assumptions, and not even watch the trial or read the court documents? I was skeptical of Jodi at first, but once I started watching the trial and educating myself, my mind changed. Like many of the women here, I had a boyfriend that seriously emotionally abused me (he reminds me so much of Travis). It took me years to figure him out–he had a total hold over me I still don’t understand until this day. People ask why Jodi kept going back–well, I did it, too, and I’m an educated woman–I’m a college professor. It just makes me sick. Sorry, I had to vent, I apologize if this is off topic.

    • It’s easier to judge someone than to try to understand. I’ve made bad mistakes in my life and I’ve been lucky to have had understanding people around me. As a result, I try to be understanding of others.

      • Thanks, guys. Yes, I had to vent because I feel like when I try to talk to people about it, they already have her convicted of first degree murder. Like I said, I was skeptical until I did my research-now I don’t understand how people can’t see the flaws in this case. Once I heard her story and realized I related to her and had an ex boyfriend that treated me like TA treated her, I thought “Holy crap, I could have totally been in her shoes.” I think people just don’t do their research.

    • I know your frustration Kris, my husband cant watch the trial cuz hes at work, so he comes home n watches HLN. But then right after I fill him in on the parts they didn’t air.? Its funny cuz, all they miss is the TA parts. Then, he has a fair chance to make his opinions…. but he does guve me a chance because he doesnt like NG n KNOWS shes full of shit!!! I watch the trial on Ustream & omg there all haters, I finally had to tell’em all that they were all speculating. Theres only one other person on there along with myself on Jodis side. We betted that she wont get the DP. All they can say is, “we cant blv Jodi, why blv her now” aahh HELLO, what about TA, did he not lie?!

    • I know people will try her wo/any real court info.
      Amazing, isn’t it?
      My uncle was an attorney. I have so much respect for the good ones.
      There is always more than meets the eye, but some people don’t even open their eyes.
      * Re abuse: Just an example for the idiots out there
      A boss or coworker can manipulate people, and get them to do things they don’t want to do or humiliate them and get away with it, because the person knows their livelihood is at stake, so they just do what they need to to get along…
      Here you had a man presenting himself as a normal, successful, GOD fearing, sacred garment wearing Mormon! He baptized her! He does all the things to impress a woman, and then turns out to be a mirade of issues way beyond the norm. (his type isn’t my type, but Jodi liked him and she wasn’t strong enough to dump him after the first bad event)

    • Kris I feel the same way. I tried to tell my best friend about this case and she looked at me like I was nuts. I cannot believe that mostly everyone on TV, the commentators, are acting as if they never heard of domestic violence before. As it this is some new phenomenon and not something that has been in the news almost every day for years and years.

    • The worst thing about people getting their coverage from HLN, is that they *actually believe* that NG, Dr Drew, JVM advocate for crime victims, and that they know what abuse is. Clearly they don’t, if they are going to such great lengths to excuse Travis’ behavior as “like… guy stuff.” I blame Dr Drew the most because he comes off as this “nice guy” that has everyone’s best interest at heart, but at the end of the day is a total sell out to the HLN prevailing opinion. He has zero backbone, and half the time I don’t believe that he even believes what he is saying.

      • It is all about ratings. Dr. Drew isn’t objective in this trial and it is upsetting. He’s all just into diagnosing everyone with sex addiction. Dr. Drew’s show called me last week that they wanted me to be a caller because I wrote them how I was disgusted no one on HLN mentioned that Travis said in the phone call something about raping Jodi. The person who called me was like, when we call you, act really, really upset or angry and show a lot of emotion! They never called me that night, but I found that interesting!

          • Yes!! I called my friend after the call and asked her if I should cry and say Baba Booey or something. But I really felt strongly about what I was going to say and did want him to take it seriously and this set of instructions really made it more of a joke in a sense. And yes, Dr .Drew is an MD (a psychiatrist!!!) and i also have higher expectations of him vs JVM or NG. But I guess this isn’t the first time he has taken a situation and spun it around to suit his needs.

      • MB I was thinking the same thing. I used to enjoy his show because I could take things he was saying and apply them to myself. I also enjoyed his rehab show because although it was just that, a tv show, I could relate to the people on it having gone thru abuse, drug addiction and trying to stay clean myself. I am disgusted with Dr Drew now, you are absolutely right he is a sellout.

        • And to think he is ruining the good work he *does* do, just to keep a tv show! Soo many people look to him for kindness and understanding, and one time I heard on his show that women look to him as a role model for a future husband! Wow, I guess if they are looking for someone who will turn on them for a dime maybe.

          I’m sorry to hear about your struggles with substance abuse! Yes, I know what you mean I have watched tv shows about other topics and it really encouraged me to examine myself and change my viewpoints on my many things.

      • Yeah, I just have to thank SJ over and over again for this website. At least I can come here to have an educated conversation with people that also do their research and watch the trial.

      • The thing with Drew Pinsky is he is an MD and should know better…the others are just there for infotainment.

        When I look at how they have covered this and other cases, I begin to wonder if we should go back to having no cameras in the courtroom at all, just like it used to be thirty-five or forty years ago.

        • Infotainment… lol… good way to put it! I agree, cameras shouldn’t be in the courtroom unless they are documenting; and the tapes should only be released to the public after the fact. There’s too much room for jury tampering otherwise.

      • His show is just a televsion version of the Enquirer. It’s all just snippets of sensationalized banter, you notice as soon as someone gets too in-depth with an answer that might be a bit boring he interrupts with a big “BUT HOW ABOUT WADDA WADDA WADDA” to bring the “excitement” level back up. Boring news makes for boring tv and poor ratings and they just can’t have that.

        • Wadda, wadda, wadda… lol… yes I noticed that too! I agree, they are more concerned with ratings than they are just reporting the facts and letting people decide for themselves what to think.

      • I agree. Dr. Drew is a hug disappointment , I have watched his since he was on love lines. I wish just one person on the HLN network would say something nice about Jodi, and try to see her side.

  58. Jodi’s mom looks really upset. I wonder how much she knew about Jodi and Travis’ relationship when they were dating or friends.

  59. 5 yrs is a long time. I’m sure she has cried over and over again as to what happened. By this time she is numb but that doesn’t mean she enjoyed it or doesn’t feel horrible about it. I had to remind myself that she already admitted to killing him, there would not be any big revelations other than how it happened. I’m assuming she blacked out and that fits because of the rage she must have had while killing him. She just kept stabbing and stabbing until he no longer moved. She has to explain her behavior why she did what she did after the murder and save her life from the death penalty. I don’t think she deserves to die for this. I don’t think she would ever harm another person, I don’t think she’s evil. I think she was pushed to the edge of sanity and crossed over for a moment & 38 seconds.

    • It also makes sense if she had blacked out while doing it–it’s that fight or flight, life or death situation. She tried to run already, that didn’t work, so she had to fight–and there you have it. The will to live is very strong and you will do what you have to do to get out of there alive. Some people say it is overkill but in a situation like that, you aren’t counting how many times you are stabbing, and if you want to make sure he is dead, you will stab as much as necessary and get the hell out of there.

    • It also makes sense if she had blacked out while doing it–it’s that fight or flight, life or death situation. She tried to run already, that didn’t work, so she had to fight–and there you have it. The will to live is very strong and you will do what you have to do to get out of there alive. Some people say it is overkill but in a situation like that, you aren’t counting how many times you are stabbing, and if you want to make sure he is dead, you will stab as much as necessary and get the hell out of there.

  60. I feel even sicker now, after the testimony, than I have at any point leading up to it. I’m a nurse and have seen my share of PTSD victims (working at the VA for going on 8 years now). God, I DO believe Jodi… but there’s something that seems just a little ‘off’ about her amount of control over her emotions. I am litera
    lly on the verge of vomiting.

    • Just wanted to add that it’s even more confusing when you juxtapose this Jodi over the Jodi in the “48 Hours” interview…

    • Ashley,me too.after today’s testimony im lost for words,i had lobng ago anticipated that this memory gap would occur,people with the least knowledge on psychology know that post traumatic experience is real and the actual traumatic event is just not there,registered on the brain any more.Just think of the numerous people involved in traumatic events (even war veterans that had to kill someone or see one of their friends being killed)and then have absolutely no recollection of it,just ”the feeling” of it as Jodi described.To some the mind pictures gradually come to some never.I totally believe her,however i can see why this in not at all satisfactory to others.It’s gonna cost her,i guess.She’s gonna be cornered later on by Martinez,the media of course.I just pray as the rest of you that the experts will shed some invaluable light to the part of her testimony that seemed cloudy.People have got to realize that she is NOT trying to avoid explaining the murder,she does NOT remember it.PTSD.sad but true…

    • Yes, Ashley, there is something “off” about Jodi’s self-control. I don’t see the point in denying it; for me, anyway, acknowledging that aspect of her personality is not at odds with supporting her. None of it changes the fact that this killing was NOT premeditated.

      What Travis said about Jodi being a Pollyanna–though he said it in an abusive and un-insightful way–is true. She tends to hide negative feelings, and minimizes or denies others’ bad, bad behaviour. Like many people who put their faith into the positive-thinking approach to life, she wanted to be “sunny” and hopeful no matter what, even if it meant not seeing the stark reality. Of course, that’s why he chose her to be his secret sex partner and punching bag.

      But, it seems clear to me that that Jodi has had too much practice in positive thinking or at least in carrying on as if all is well. She wasn’t just looking on the bright side of bad situations, it seems, but submerging powerful emotions and making herself numb against them. We’re seeing that numbness on the stand, that inability to fully access emotions. It’s unsettling.

  61. do u notice Jean C. And Beth (last name forget) are MORE BALANCED when not berated by mz. disgrace or jvm, pinkie?
    joey jackson, a defense atty.? wtf! i wouldnt want him defending ME!

  62. The prosecution is going to nail her about being so specific about so many things that happened so long ago but not having any memory about such a huge event in her life. I agree, this could be bad.

    • Of course he will, he was going to nail her regardless. I think Jodi will be fine. Martinez will come off as the flailing idiot that he is.

      • Trixels,

        I’m not as sure as you that she will be fine on cross.
        I would not be. My abusive situation went on for many years and is in the far past now, but if someone starts asking me to explain ie: Why stay so long? etc. I just can’t cope with it. It is like my nervous system just starts to close down…..I start to feel like fainting etc.
        I think Jodi will have a very difficult time on cross. JMO.

    • The prosecutor can say whatever he wants, he’s not a doctor. The other events that Jodi is being so articulate about were not traumatic events, therefore memorable. An experience psychologist will be able to eliminate any accusations the prosecutor might make about her “conveniently” forgetting parts of this very traumatic and disturbing event in her life.

  63. Blackouts during a terrible stressful episode like that including fear of death are very possible and have occurred many times. There is no evidence for premeditation and that is what is important.

    • YES. My argument exactly. Again, if she was planning to kill him, why wouldn’t she do it while he was sleeping and shot him them, especially if she knew there was a gun in the house, or even if she did have a gun with her? Makes no sense.

      • I agree. Killing him in the shower or bathroom or hallway..whichever it was…makes no sense. She could have missed and he would have gotten her and killed her. He must have been close to her when she shot him.

  64. One big downside to her lack of memory of the event is that she’s had several years to seek professional psychiatric help, even though she’s in jail doctors are available for inmates. She could have been getting counseling for this, she could have been working to recover those memories. I understand on one hand why Jodi would have preferred to just erase those memories from her head, but knowing she would be on trial for her life she should have been seeking help long before this day. Maybe she was, I don’t know, but at this point it doesn’t look like she had.

    • Hey Dog, I am Canadian (but living in TX right now) and my little sister volunteers at a prison in Ontario. I know Canadian prisons are MUCH more open to rehabilitation and have way more programs then American prisons. The goal is to not have hardened criminals when they are released. I have seen the jail that Jodi is in on MSNBC Lock up raw (Maricopia County) and the atmosphere looks like a bunch of women hanging out and starting drama with each other. I wonder if she had many opportunities to seek help…

    • Yes, but therapy doesn’t always help to bring back blackouts. Like I said I’m a psych professor and I train therapists.. often times they do hypnosis but that isn’t always reliable and it certainly wouldn’t be admissable in court (results of hypnosis).

      • Ok but not saying whether it would be effective or not, presenting evidence to the court that at least she sought counseling/help would be better in this case than just saying I did nothing and then stating “I don’t remember” on the stand, no?

        @ Lindsay, it is true what you say about Canadian prisons. I watch programs like Lock Up where hundreds of these bad asses are imprisoned and I think damn, if prisons in Canada were like that there would be a much different attitude about committing the crime in the first place. When you commit a crime here you’re basically sent to a resort to do your time.

        • True, but I don’t even know what kind of help they have in that prison, or what would be expected of her… you never know, her attorneys may have advised her against it. Also prisons are infamous for LACKING the kind of psychological help most inmates need.

          • She wont get help while in jail. its a county facility and very strict. Also, her shrink notes for private counseling would be available during this case to the court. She did meet with a battered woman’s expert who will testify in trial.


            I have a background in pysch too. Help is not available during county time.

    • I am sickened by the TV moderators jumping all over her black-out after she killed him. If she wanted to conveniently forget that, then wouldn’t she also have conveniently have forgotten that she was holding the knife and screaming??

      Travis had her walking on eggshells. She had low self-esteem to begin with. He bolstered her at times, and she was willing to take the risk that she could change or accept him, and that he would loved her. She never knew what she would do or say that would tip his anger. It’s obvious even in the phone calls. So her previous testimony does bolster her explanation, despite what the talking asshats are saying. I have lost all respect for Nancy Grace and Jane, who I had hope for.

      I’ve seen it and I know many women know how the most innocuous of events can cause a snap. TA’s own childhood alludes to his issues of control, and always wanting to control his environment. And her. And certainly his brand new expensive camera. It’s a horrible thing that happened, and he in no way deserved to die. But they both made choices that took them to this conclusion.

      Her explanation is very plausible. Yes, she lied. Scared for her life, she lied. And she is highly intellectual. But nothing has told me she pre-meditated this murder. Or that she ever wanted him dead. She wanted to marry him, for goodness sake! And she had still not given up her dream completely on that last visit.

  65. By the way I had to share with you guys–I bought 3 of Jodi’s pictures. I got the first one today. It’s gorgeous. I had to do something to help and I know the $$ goes to her family, so I bid… plus I got great art out of it. I still don’t get the a-holes screwing with the auctions, though, and giving the seller such a hard time. It just shows you the ignorance of some people.

    • kris that’s so great,i know it must mean a lot to you to be able to help Jodi,I wish i had the money to help her too.unfortunately,i dont…

        • Ebay can punish them with “strikes” for lack of payment, but yes there are some people out there screwing with people like me that are intersting in buying the art–I’ve got a little collection going on here–and people wanting to screw with the seller (one of Jodi’s family friends). By the way, the seller is just a fantastically kind person, selling the art for the family and trying to help out. The Grace Kelly pic had to be listed twice because of the a-holes. One of my auctions was affected, but I still won. The haters are totally wrecking the ebay auctions, BUT the pictures are still being sold, still raising money, and the seller is just having to really monitor the auctions.

          What they do is come in and bid to drive the auctions up to try and chase away the legit buyers from buying–making it way too expensive for anybody to buy the art. It just shows you how immature these people are, because Jodi’s family is doing nothing illegal, and neither are people like me, that want to buy the art.

          • Wow that iS immature! !!! They dont stop n think, that what they are doing is possibility making Jodi even more $. If the buyer really wants it, they’ll bet higher n buy the art. Unless of course the buyes cant afford it, thats what they’re going for. But they’re selling! !! I wanted to buy but I found it too expensive when I went to bet. Now i wonder if they were messing with the prices then?! Let me ask you this, are they going for more then $400/$500??

          • LC, some of them are, usually 400-1500 dollars, but GK’s went over 3000… seller had to relist because people were messing with that one.

          • MB it is totally disgusting. I was shocked; I just wanted the art and wanted to help as well. It goes to show you how immature the TA lovers can be, and how dumb some people are. There is nothing wrong with what Jodi is doing; it is totally legal. And it’s being done to help the family. The fact that people would do that is amazing. But if you guys have the time, check out Jodi’s art on ebay every now and then. It’s beautiful.

  66. Twenty years ago, when I was 18, I was married to a psychopath. He was pure evil. Physically, mentally, sexually, and verbally abusive. This went on for 5 years, until he murdered someone else and thankfully went to prison. I remember specific events of abuse, but other parts I have completely blacked out with PTSD.

    I have to say, I am not concerned about Jodi’s lack of emotion, I can talk about my horrific abuse with nary an eye twitch, even though it happened, I am very good at compartmentalizing that part of my life and preventing emotion from coming to the surface. I hope they have a good expert that can explain this behavior to the jury.

    • Also, if one takes certain medications and undergoes EMDR for traumatic events, it’s very possible to be able to think of speak of those events with little emotion.

    • I was abused as a young child and blocked out a great deal of it until I was in my 20s. I speak about the childhood abuse today without any emotion — even the most traumatic parts of it.

      Although one has nothing to do with the other, I was also abused by my ex-husband. While there are some parts of that abuse about which I become very emotional speaking of, the evening he tried to kill me two years ago is something that I speak about in a very flat monotone emotionless fashion. I recall most of what happened that day, but not all of the evening when this occurred. I began videotaping with my iPhone when I realized he was about to kill me. I have watched it again, which refreshed my memory somewhat. But there are still parts of it that I cannot recall at all. Afterwards, I was in extreme shock, which set in most especially as he was taken away in handcuffs. I don’t remember giving a statement to the police officer at all. I didn’t remember what he looked like the next time I saw him. I vaguely remember calling a friend and her telling me that I had to breathe. The next few days are kind of a blur for me really. I was just so out of it.

      I also wanted to add that as I’ve watched Jodi testify (thanks to this site), she has described PTSD and panic attacks so perfectly — but without giving what she describes those names. When she spoke last week about how she felt waking up to his texts, it was exactly what I go through when I get an email from my ex’s lawyer. But she didn’t know the exact terms for what she felt, which I’ve learned from my therapist.

      At this point, anyone who doesn’t believe her should nominate her for an Academy Award and notify every director in Hollywood. Because if she wasn’t telling the truth, she would have to be THE greatest actress of all time. She has touched my heart so deeply, and in so many ways, her testimony has also helped me process some things. I only hope the jury understands, but it’s been my experience that most people just do not get domestic violence AT ALL.

  67. Question: can blood be traced for blood after being through the DW? I know its been 5yrs but if they would’ve back when this happened? ??

    Also…… I STILL blv that her 2nd story was what really happened. Damn Flores didn’t do his job so she cant go with that story because they didnt set out for other evidence!!!! iDIOT!!!

    Anyway, to ME, the prosecution still haven’t proven enough evidence for premeditation. BUT can the blackout hurt her? She said she didnt mean to shoot, that in fact she didnt even notice she had shot HIM, she thought she shot at the wall…. So Can they prove or show premeditation while she was in this blackout state of mind???

      • I think it would be very difficult to prove premeditation, period, especially with the blackout. But about the blood, I don’t know. I wonder if SJ knows?

    • What was her second story?? Sorry I havent followed this case…just today I have finally seen her as the victim in all this.When I saw her talk about her fear that day

      • Yes the dishwasher for trace of blood from the knife.

        Her 2nd story was of the intruders. She told Flores that a man n a woman came in, killed TA and they let her go. She never said why they were there but they threatened her with her n her families lives. I still blv SOME parts if that story n that she IS covering up for them becuause shes scared if these people (I thk it’s someone from the church). And this is the best story she can now give with SD, she can’t remember…shes covered alot of questions like the license plate but there’s just so much, the camera, the roommates, the smell.

    • I’m still with you LC. I’ve always said if there is a blackout, Im stickin with story #2. Ok notice they do NOT say Jodi EVER touched the knife! She heard it drop. Did she say SHE dropped it? She also made a POINT to debunk the theory that the cuts on her hands were by a KNIFE! She said she cut her hand on a glass she broke.Did someone come in and help her?

      • Yea and when Nurmi showed one of the pictures, I think I heard her mumble, “I didnt take that” ill definitely go back to that part when its posted because IF thats what she said to that one pic, ill be 100% convinced that there was someone else. Its like she knows but cant tell but sges giving us little signs. Idk maybe im going crazy! Lol

        • LC I could not agree with you, I one hundred percent believe she is covering for someone. It’s sad to say but I don’t think any of us will ever know the whole story ;/ But I am praying it all works out for Jodi she has my full support

          • Oh she did!???!! Wow!!! See, she covering up but almost giving little hints here n there. Like you know when little kids do something but they don’t want to tell the whole truth, they try to get away with… “I did this, BUT “I” didnt do THAT!” She didnt take THAT pic. So who did?? And who put the camera in the washer, n who cleaned the house before the detectives got there?!

    • Couldn’t agree more. The case was definitely overcharged and no lesser charges. If the jury follows the law, Jodi should have a verdict of not guilty.

  68. Were all of Travis’ roommates ALL not home between the time Jodi came to when his body was found? I am confused about all that. Did a roommate find his body?

    • There was one roommate home later on, but he didn’t notice anything, and because TA was in his bathroom inside his master suite, he didn’t know he was in there. And, I think the bedroom door was locked.
      As far as the dog, I don’t know where he was, but usually a dog will scratch or bark at a door if their master is behind it or in distress.

      • Yup!!! C-on the roommate must have noticed or is he really that stupid or high?! They KNEW!!! The roommate at one point was looking for jumper cables and he never saw the blood stains on the washing machine that led to the garage. The garage he had to go through everyday to use his car?! And on the report it says that the roommate thought the Banister was slick n wet like someone was cleaning. ????? When the detectives were finally called n entered that house the house was spick-n-span imaculately CLEANED!!! Except the SMELL of the decomposing body!!!! SOMEONE IN THAT HOUSE KNEW!!!

        • In Flores report, he mentions that there is a doggy gate was up at the stairs. Someone says they don’t know why it was up, TA let the dog run freely. It was probably cause the dog smelled the decomp and kept scratching at TA’s bedroom door.

    • Officer Flores’ report states that the smell of decomposing body was strong and evident all over the home. The odor was evident as soon as they entered the front door. Yet roommate Zachary Billings and his girlfriend Amanda McBrien were in one of the other bedrooms upstairs and said they thought Travis had already left on his trip to Mexico. Odd that they did not notice the smell if it was that evident?

  69. ok so she had clothes on her when he attacked her, why wasn’t hse covered in blood? or was she, and I missed that part where she changed?
    And, how did the camera end up in the washer?

    • Right, the camera was never mentioned! Ugh, I have a genetics exam…I am going to miss most of the PM part of the trial 🙁

      • You can watch it right after on youtube, probably 🙂 just type in jodi arias trial day 20 , someone named coakerqueen usually posts it right away.

  70. I have only watched some of the trial and most of it has been in the last couple days. Some of what she has said before I thought maybe a stretch of the truth….BUT when I saw her on the stand today and she was telling of her fear and how scared she was I SAW HER AS A VICTIM. I now believe that day she was in fear of her life. It broke my heart to see her crying and recalling those moments. And as for as not keeping a gun on a high shelf I think that many gun owners keep their guns on a high shelf. I hate how all these TALKING HEADS on TV always take the side of the state and NEVER the side of the defendant!! .

  71. I’m not buying Jodi’s testimony. I may be crazy, but I now think she didn’t do it at all. I think she’s protecting someone or taking the fall out of fear for her own life.

    Slashing someone’s throat is a strange way to kill someone. It speaks of experience and a message. Not of self defense.

    • Not only that, but Jodi has zero history of violence. I’d think there would be some incident to call upon if she’d done this. But there is nothing.

      • Here is something to ponder Sam. . . TA family, Friends and even the prosecution love to tout how TA has no history of violence or poor behavior yet over the course of this trial the defense has proved that theory wrong. However, Jodi has no past history of it either but they call her a cold blodded killer and liar and say she is guilty. Hum. . . the mirrior always reflects boths ways and in this case I think his family and the prosecution have only made the truth come out and made him look like the abusive piece of scum that he is. Clearly he was a manipulative liar and conn artist that either had everyone fooled or they new and just turned the other way and have tried desperatly to cover it up.

        I believe 100% she is innocent!!!!!!!!!!!

    • I’ve even seen some people on predominantly pro-pros boards suggest that Jodi is protecting someone. It’s very possible considering the shady shit that Travis was involved with.

  72. Dog- One of the ways Adrenaline affect memory is that the events leading up to the flight or fight response are very clear, however the way in which the flight, escaping the situation or fight what actions taken to fight off the threat may not be remembered at all initially.

  73. The problem I see for the jury is the gun story. It has not been recovered so there is no way to disprove that it was the Grandfathers stolen gun. There is also no way to prove that it was either. Nonetheless, I see it as a gray area and one that the jury will ponder. Reading through the other posts today and the theories on blackouts of traumatic events, I can believe that her testimony is true. It could also be a very good card that Nurmer played on purpose to keep the premeditation theory from getting any more fuel.

    • Ok this may be a really weird question or statement. But when many people have guns they go out target shooting and sometimes do so in the woods. My point is Has anyone ever asked if the grandfather did this. My point is when a Gun fires it has “finger prints” it leaves. They are called lands and grooves. Now any bullet fired from a particular gun has that same “FINGERPRINT” What I am getting at is cant they find an expelled bullet from the grandfathers gun and compare it to the one that was left at TAs house to put the whole “she stole her grandfathers gun CRAP to rest” PLEASE DOES ANYONE KNOW THIS ANSWER!!1

        • Do you know if the grandfather ever took the gun out to practice fire it maybe in the woods or something. Because if they can get just one of those bullets it can be compared to the one from TAs house. And prove that this gun was not the same one that fired the bullet at TAS house.

          • well, Dumb Flores can’t run a good investigation, so I doubt he thought of it.

            He wouldn’t have found evidence of other people if it shot HIM in the head.

          • Lol that’s true BeeCee. Jennifer, idk but my husband is a srg in the ammo field, his in charge of the Armoury, so he’s the person to ask. Ill ask n post when he gets home. Thats a great Q n I would like to know if this can be traceable this way.

          • Jennifer, the answer is no. He said, the casing would be too old, the weather would make it very difficult near to impossible to trace with one that had just been fired. Something like that he said. Oh also, her grandfather probably didn’t use this kind of weapon in the woods for hunting,he’d probably use a rifle or something in that nature. Hope that helps.

  74. It Did it really matter what Jodi said today? Those that hate her will hate her even more, those that think she’s lying will think its more of the same. Those that embrace and understand her will continue to do so.

    • Well I hope it does for the jury. I’m with you on being sick of the haters–see my post above. If it weren’t for this website, I’d have no place to have educational discussions about this trial with people.

      The main thing is there seems to have been a total and complete lack of premeditation, no matter how you look at it.

      Now, whether or not the jury agrees it is self defense, I don’t know, but I think it is very difficult to prove this was first degree murder.

    • Her testimony today brought me to her side 100% so maybe it will do the same for at least one juror because that is all it takes is one person!!

    • Right, because they would have found a way to spin it no matter what. If she had a detailed memory of everything, they would have said she was lying. No memory? Well that’s just “deceptive ambivalence” as I heard one talking head on HLN spouting off.

      No matter what, nothing is good enough. They are now trying to say that her finger isn’t broken or deformed, and splashing pictures of it lengthwise when all her fingers are curled. Well duh, of course it’s going to blend in if ALL the fingers are curled, even slightly. It doesn’t mean she’s lying, it just means HLN is trying to save face. I think they know after this their careers are in serious jeopardy!

      • I have personal experiance with another person who took someones life and they too blacked out about the details around the most serious parts of the murder. It was also a relationship killing. I think this may happen because it is our bodys way of protecting us from Horrific painful memories! Does anyone else have this thought?

    • Thanks, Mel, and I can back up what you are posting–I am a psych prof that trains therapists and when counseling PTSD we always talk about blackouts and memory loss as a coping strategy.

      • I’m so glad to hear that! I know it can be frustrating for those who don’t understand the condition. My specialty is working with Veterans, mostly combat PTSD. They all exhibit many of the symptoms but each individual is different as you know.

        • Mel I want to thank you for your help that you give the Veterans with PTSD my fiance is a vet and he has PTSD and I know how alone they feel so thank you for being there for them.

  75. also her ‘flat” affect is a very common sign of abuse. HLN is drooling over her lack of emotion and how they believe she is a liar, etc etc. Its disgusting, and I’m so glad the jury can not listen to what they are saying. Makes me sick….they are supposed to be professional journalists . LMAO

    • Yes, you are totally right about that. A lot of the people that have experienced abuse in this forum above said the exact same thing.

      • Kris, I just want to take a moment and say thank you for your input here! It helps having a real professional to help us understand all angles. It’s coming together for me, slowly but surely. I think Gus’ phone call really seals the deal – the blackout, the fear. If Jodi couldn’t get help for her finger out of fear that nobody would believe her, she had no reason to believe the police would believe her about what happened at Travis’ house.

        I feel so bad for her, I’m not ashamed to admit I lost it when she was testifying. She still loves him, even after all this time, even after all that’s happened, he has a place in her heart still. If that doesn’t prove she’s not a cold, calculating killer I don’t know what will!

        • Its is frustrating to see how she can be still be defending alot of actions after all he did to her. Even working in this type of environment, I have to admit I do the same MB. I want to just shake them sometimes and say why are you doing this to yourself. But sometimes the mental abuse is just so deep and traumatic, that they truly believe they deserve it, or asked for it. She looks to me like she might be having a dis associative events, Kris what do you think.
          {sorry my question mark isn’t working }

          • Hey, just look at Rihanna.
            CB pulverized her face and more. And, guess who she got back together with?
            She is the poster child for women going back to an abuser.
            I don’t see NG or JVM hanging her out for doing that.

          • Well, when I said I lost it I started bawling. lol I’m not perturbed or frustrated… not at all! Just so sad and heart broken that things ended like this, with Jodi knowing that she couldn’t take it back. She wanted to, so badly.

            I can’t imagine what it’s like to work around this stuff all the time. I get ventricular trauma when I study cases like this, so I can’t imagine doing this day in and day out.

        • I do not see how Gus’s phone call “seals the deal”, regarding her lapse in memory. Gus said she called him at 3:30 am. We heard Jodi testify, she “came to” while driving west, into the setting sun, then being in the desert, throwing the gun, etc. So clearly she would not have been in “blackout mode” at 3:30 am when the phone call was supposedly made. I still believe Gus got the date of the phone call wrong.

          • That IS NOT WHAT HE MENT!!! HELLO!! “SEALS THE DEAL” means to puts it all together. The phone call showed that she was not in her sound mind at that time!! Sorry OBSERVER but you arent VERY OBSERVANT this page is for Jodis supporters!!!

          • She just testified she doesn’t remember the stabbing. Five years after the fact. And I never said she was in blackout mode at the time of the phone call, either. The point was she was upset and couldn’t recall what happened, and turned to Gus.

            Please don’t start an argument with me. I want my time and energy spent supporting Jodi, not defending my statements because people want to put words in my mouth that I never said.

          • Please forgive me- I thought this was a sight for intelligent conversations. I am not trying to “start an argument”, as you say. I was only commenting on your choice of phrase, that it is all coming together for you as you stated: “I think Gus’ phone call really seals the deal – the blackout, the fear.” To me “seals the deal” means that an agreement has been reached i.e.- Gus’s 3:30 am phone call confirms Jodi’s blackout and lapse of memory. I am only pointing out the facts, not arguing. Again, because I simply stated what I happen to interpret from the words that were used does not mean that I do not support Jodi. Also, if people are attacked on this sight for simply attempting to have an intellectual conversation, maybe from a differing point of view, then YOU are no better than the Travis support sights that you bash daily. Sorry SJ, I think you started a good thing here; however, as is usually the case in life it only takes few to ruin the whole thing.

          • Also, the phone call is completely irrelevant, as it has not been presented in court. If you truly support Jodi, perhaps you should “spend your time and energy” on what is being presented in the courtroom and how it affects Jodi, instead of starting unnecesarry arguments with people who are in support of Jodi also.

        • Thanks, MB! Mel knows a lot about PTSD and has worked with people suffering from it too, and it looks like he and I are pretty much in agreement about that.

  76. Maybe I have my wires crossed, but I remember reading somewhere that her Gf’s gun was a 24 or 25
    calibre , but the shell found at the scene is from a 22.

    Do any of you know about this??

  77. Here is why I think so many people are stupid. I read a comment from a Jodi hater saying it made no sense she would get the gun and go back to the bathroom and be trapped. The bathroom had TWO entrances. It makes perfect sense to run through the closet, grab the gun and continue back completing the circle into the bathroom.

    I don’t pretend to know for sure that her testimony is true, but stupid people jump to their hate conclusions without even understand the crime scene.

  78. The HLNers are complaining that she only talked about the incident for 45 minutes. She is not a carnival sideshow act putting on a show for your viewing pleasure. I swear I could nut up and shank these fools.

    • Also she is answering the Uestions that are asked of her she has NO CONTROL on how much time her attorney spends on the areas he is questioning her about.

    • LOL Trixels, yea as if Jodi is on the stand to up their ratings. They are always talking about what a narcissist Jodi is – have they looked in the mirror? That includes lizard-brow Bethany Marshall and all the other so-called experts that want to rewrite forty years of domestic abuse research just to see Jodi get the death penalty. If only there was an opposing network that also had “body language experts” and degreed experts to psychoanalyze THEM for a change. But let’s face it, nobody needs a degree to see through them!

  79. I just don’t bother reading any of the negative stuff, first I don’t want that blind hatred in my life, it just upsets a thinking person,and they probably enjoy knowing they are making people angry, which is a form of bullying and is abusive, so don’t be their victim…:)

  80. I’m still with you LC. I’ve always said if there is a blackout, Im stickin with story #2. Ok notice they do NOT say Jodi EVER touched the knife! She heard it drop. Did she say SHE dropped it? She also made a point to say the cuts on her came from her breaking a glass, NOT a KNIFE! WHY? Did someone hear the gunshot, come in and help her? Where are they going here? She says that is all she remembers at THAT point. Does she remember later that there was someone else who came in?

    • Wow Kmiller, that is an interesting take on this! I always wondered the same thing – why didn’t anyone call the police about the gunshot? Why didn’t anyone mention if Travis owned a gun? I learned *just yesterday* that Travis went target shooting with his friend Hall. I never even knew he knew how to fire a gun let alone owning one. Yes, lots of stuff going on here!

      I wonder, if there was *someone* – if it’s not the roommate that lived in the house for five days with a putrefying corpse. Then some of Travis’ other friends came looking for him, and he couldn’t keep the door locked anymore.

      I know there’s no way to know any of this for sure. I’m just thinking out loud here…

      • Yes Dave Hall said he would go shooting with Travis and I was surprised by that. He said Travis would have told him he bought a gun. Hey Dave, Travis didn’t tell his friends a lot of things! Dave also said that a 25 is basically a POS gun, it wouldn’t be the right weapon to try and kill someone or something to that effect.

  81. First I don’t see anyway that a jury could rightfully vote for the charge of premeditation. I do believe something went horribly wrong and Jodi felt it was either him or her. However, I don’t think it will sit well with the jury, even after experts testify, that she has no recollection of any portion of the stabbing. As some of the other posters, I’m a nurse too. I do have an understanding of how trauma works with ones memory of events. It is sad that Jodi is still unable to speak of TA in a really bad light. I hope the jury will follow the instructions which would mean not guilty. So far today, Jodi hasn’t done as well describing the amount of fear that she must have felt on that date.

  82. Not trying to be mean, but I have a quick question.

    Gus Searcy claimed that Jodi called him the morning after the murder.

    Jodi, today, never mentioned a phone call to Gus.

    Which one is lying?

    • Neither of them are lying. When someone takes the stand, they just can’t blurt anything out. They have to answer questions, plain and simple. Martinez did everything he could to try to discredit Gus from the beginning, because he knew the phone call would disprove premeditation.

      • Gus made the statements while appearing on one of the shows.

        Jodi was asked what happened after she left, but didn’t mention it at all. She said she called Travis’ cell numerous times, but didn’t mention a call to Gus.

          • Come on MB. I know today was a tough day for all of us Jodi supporters, but that is no reason to start spewing falsehoods like HLN talking heads. The phone call Gus Searcy said Jodi made to him at 3:30 am the night he was killed was NEVER brought up in the courtroom. So if was never an issue in the courtroom, how is it then that Martinez made sure it was not admitted. Also, Jodi could have testified to making a phone call to Gus, she testified to calling other people. It would not have been hearsay for her to testify to calling Gus. Again, I think Gus was wrong about the date. Jodi testified today that she called Travis’s bishop at 3:00 am on June 10th, after Dan Freeman called her and told her something had happened to Travis. She testified that during that phone call she broke down. I think it was after THIS phone call to the bishop, that she called Gus.

          • I think what MB is saying is that Gus approached the prosecution with information about the phone call, but Martinez did not get in touch with him. That’s how he made sure that it was never an issue in court.

  83. Oh just thought of something!!! Remember the roommate who told Flores he did laundry on one day but then changed his story when asked again? And then the defense asking about the SIZE of the shirts in the laundry and if ALL the clothes had been bleached or just certain ones having her take each article of clothing out?

  84. I wish she had not said some of the things she did say, such as remembering when disposing of the gun. I think she did gave a credible explanation but not sure if the jury will believe or not. When adrenaline kicks in from fear you do not make sensible decisions, you just react. It’s instinctual. I wish she did remember after she shot him because they are going to say the blackout is convenient. There are a lot of coincidences they may not believe, the gas cans, the 25 caliber stolen from her grandparent’s house (guns are registered so if Travis does not have a 25 caliber). The fact that she shot him with the 25 caliber first and had to continue to protect herself with the knife because he was still chasing her is credible because they are saying 25 calibers don’t do enough damage. But she does not remeber what happened after. My guess is the shot did not kill him but certainly enraged him and there was a fight to the death. I believe she was afraid of him and brought the grandparent’s gun with her for protection just in case, which is a problem also. She does not deserve murder 1 or 2; I think it was self defense but she brought the gun in advance. I don’t know how that plays into premeditation. I would think that would be common sense. If only she had met and been interested in another man and had dropped Travis. I’m sure that would have happened within a few more months…. I think she was starting to put two and two together. Travis would have probably gotten married and been arrested for domestic violence. Or this would have happened to another woman. He was definitely abusive and the prosecution should admit it and stop white-washing it. He did not deserve to die; it just went too far.

    • MAybe I am remembering wrong here but wasnt there just an attorney on HLN or one of the other channels talking about how he gets guns off of Craigslist and that they dont have to be registered? So Travis wouldnt of had to register the gun right? And maybe he had a sinister plan that he wanted to use the gun for that is why TA never told anyone about the GUN he had?

      • You are correct Jennifer. Guns are NOT always registered. That is part of why the laws are trying to be changed. A private person can sell a gun to another private person without going through a background check or registering it.

        If a business sells a gun they have to go through the proper channels. Look up straw purchase.

    • I’m still not getting the significance of the gas cans. She didn’t torch Travis or the scene. How and where she got gas is irrelevant; she made other purchases with receipts and used her phone in AZ.

      • They aren’t significant at all to this case. This isn’t a Dana Chandler here who didn’t leave a paper trail but used two gas cans as a way to not be traced when she killed her ex-husband and his fiancee back in 2002. Jodi left a vast paper trail during the time before and right after she killed Travis.

  85. Let me say that as a male who is similar to Travis Alexander in many ways, I understand Jodi’s reaction completely.

    First let me clarify that when I say I am similar to Travis I am not talking about being in to kids (allegedly) nor am I a mormon or practice any religion. But I am a male, now in my 40’s, respected by friends and family and the community in general, I have dated a lot and slept around a lot. I also have a healthy and what some might consider freaky sex drive.

    But more critically, I have played those same head games with women that I did not want but whom I did not want anyone else to have. I would sleep with them and say things to give them a false sense of hope but never commit to anything, and I would reel them back in when they started to slip away to someone else. The worse part of all is my temper. When I’ve discussed it in the past I describe it as being like a light switch; it’s either “off” or it’s “on”.

    I know there is not a significant difference between the two (mental vs physical) but let me also clarify that I have never been physically abusive. Strangely enough I have always said I would beat the crap out of any guy I saw hitting a woman or child. While I believe my temper is more under control now, it was completely out of control in my 20’s (especially) and 30’s. I would snap at the smallest thing and go in to a blind rage. I would yell, punch walls, smash things, throw things. It didn’t matter what it was. I know I scared the hell out of whichever gf it was at the time that had to endure that. And it wasn’t every girlfriend, most relationships were great (though short lived) and for lack of better word incident free. But there was something about a few women that would just set me off. And I always blamed them for setting me off, it was always something THEY did that CAUSED ME to blow a gasket. Its only now that I realize how wrong that was, and it is the main reason I have remained single for the past 15 years. I like to think I have my anger under control but I know that is not true. It is much more under control now but I really don’t what it take to make me “snap” again.

    When I watched Jodi testifying today, I saw in her face the faces of past girlfriends that I have chased around the house, yelled and screamed at, cursed at, thrown things at (never meaning to hit them but scared them badly nonetheless). When she describes Travis raging, I see myself chasing her and yelling at her. I was fortunate enough to get to the point where I recognized I have a serious problem, Travis just never made it there. I would not have blamed any woman that put a gun to my head when I was in that state of mind and pulled the trigger. But I also know that few people would have believed her when she had to testify on trial for her life because few people had ever seen that side of me. It took a lot to get me to that point, most of the time I was “off”. But when something clicked me “on”, I was on. I feel very sorry for Jodi that she had to endure what she did because I can completely relate to what she went through. I hope she is move past this, in some way. I think that is why I have made such a connection to this case, it has really hit home for me in a different way than it has effected others.

    I also feel sorry for Travis that he was not able to live his life and seek help for whatever he needed help with.

    • Can I ask you, why it is that you didn’t want them… and then… even though you knew that… didn’t want them to be happy with anyone else?

      • I can’t give a clinical answer to that, and I don’t want to give an “I don’t know” answer. Immaturity maybe? I’m not able to commit to one person, when I am with someone I always seem to be on the lookout for someone else, someone “better”. When it comes to the point where you’re comfortable sexually with a person its almost like you want to keep them there for your (my) convenience, and so you want them to be available whenever you need or want them. If they go out and find another guy, you lose that (control) so you do and tell them things to keep them from “breaking free”. Once they’re reeled back I’m free to continue playing the field but comfortable in knowing that my “backup” is there if and when I need it.

        It’s never really about them or their happiness, its about me and my happiness. Believe me, I understand how selfishness, greedy and controlling that is. But that is just the way I am programmed. I feel like I can’t change it so I just had to learn to work with it. That’s not to say that I’m completely uncaring about their feelings. Its… very hard to explain. It’s like I don’t want them myself, but I care about them enough to want to keep them under my wing to protect them from other men that are like me. Twisted, I know.

        • I’m also not very good at putting my words on paper. After re-reading my comments I see that what I am trying to convey is not coming across exactly as I intend. Sorry about that.

          • I kind of get it. You get bored easy? you like the chase? And you don’t get into intimating with a women for a long time right? Talking, sharing lives all that?

        • I couldn’t reply to the comment you left above this one, but to answer….

          “I kind of get it. You get bored easy? you like the chase? And you don’t get into intimating with a women for a long time right? Talking, sharing lives all that?”

          Bored easy? Yes. The chase? Yes. Once the kill is done I’m already losing interest. Intimating? No. I share what I want people to know, nothing more. And yet I’m a very social person with many great stories to tell and I can talk your ear off for hours, but in the end you won’t know any more about me than you did when we started talking.

          On top of it all I grew up in a good mid-upper class home, good parents, good schooling, many friends, no abuse (other than the occasional spanking for being a brat – deserved in my opinion) so I can’t blame the way I am on anything that happened as a child. So if anyone has an answer as to how to ‘fix’ this, let me know… =o)

          But I really would like to end now and leave the focus here on Jodi. I only wanted to try to give some understanding of Jodi’s position from the other side of the coin. And I should also say that I am only comparing myself to Travis based on Jodi’s statements, whether or not he was actually like that I do not know. If he was, then I understand the situation quite well.

    • Thank you for being so HONEST and trying to give others a “GLIMPS” into what was going on in the mind of TA. It takes a big man to admit he did wrong to others and even a bigger man to come on here and tell us about it. I have been with men like you,no offense. But I knew the look of his evil coming just by his eyes. He would stangle me and then let me come to just to do it again. I had to convince him that I loved him before he would stop while telling him how bad I was and how GOOD he was. I too saw that look she had today and knew right then TA had attacked her that day. The same man would stalk my friends that were male to scare them away because he swore I was sleeping with each and everyone of them. Unless you have walked in your shoes or in mine then you truely do not know what the victim or the abuser feels. Again very sad case. Two families lost a loved one that day, one to death and one to her own personal hell she feels everyday from the events on that day.

    • Thank you for sharing, Shadow. Especially for sharing without making excuses or minimizing. This is rare.

      I find it interesting that you knew nobody–if it came down to it– would believe your girlfriend’s side of things–that outsiders would have more faith in you, and your good reputation, than in her.

      You also wrote, “But there was something about a few women that would just set me off.” I am very curious, since you seem to be able to be honest with yourself and others, what that “something” was.

      • Again…. I don’t know. I’m sitting here watching Jodi’s trial right now. I see a very attractive, very kind, seemingly well educated and articulate woman. I know (from these proceedings) that she has a healthy and playful sexual appetite which to me is also very attractive. She is the kind of woman I would be highly attracted to and I have in fact dated and fallen in love with a couple of women over the years that reflect Jodi in many ways. These women would be described as perfect by most (let’s say) “normal” men. But I treated them horribly. Correction: I treated them exceptionally well the majority of the time but when I was “on”, it was horrible for them. I’m certain the bad times always outweigh the good times regardless of the ratio.

        I don’t know what it was about those particular women that set me off. I loved them but I hated them and I don’t know why. In hindsight it was nothing they they ever did, it was always me exaggerating the tiniest and most insignificant things, like scratching a cd or dropping my camera. I almost feel like I used those things as an excuse to just unleash and let the beast out, if that makes sense. I’m sure it was SOMETHING about those women that made me feel like I could do that to them and get away with it, but I just can’t put my finger on what that was.

        • Yes, Shadow, your answer does make sense. You would use opportunities to “unleash” the beast. I’ve never really believed the idea that an abuser just has a bad temper; it seems to me that an abuser simply enjoys using his temper, or being offended, because it’s an opportunity to do or say something hurtful.

          And, even though you can’t put your finger on why, the point seems to be that you felt, with certain women, that you could “get away with it.” For me, that’s still a useful answer. Thank you.

          • I would never say that I enjoyed using or having a temper. I hate it actually. I’ve hurt some wonderful people that didn’t deserve it over really stupid things. I’ve destroyed personal property that I worked really hard for. And the most bizarre thing about it is that it turns “off” as quickly as it turns on. I really cannot remember a time when 10 minutes after an “episode” I was acting as if nothing happened and its right back to the good natured loveable “Shadow”. But you are right about “being offended” in a sense. I do find arguing with people a good form of releasing the pent up… whatever it is.

            Yes “Woman” (comment below), I would say that is a fairly accurate assessment.

        • I’ve always said that people will always do whatever they know that they can get away with. The sweeter, more vulnerable, meek, open and love seeking the woman, the more attractive, but also, easier to manipulate… I think it’s because they always forgive. You let someone get away with something once, and usually they know they can do it again. At least, that’s my assessment of it.

  86. They are going to think she has a good knack for being deceitful, so maybe she’s not so innocent.
    I hope they remember what TA did that led to her in this situation.

    Where is her dad?

  87. So she bought a 9mm to go camping with a bunch of guys? Not to commit suicide??!! This is a bit irrational, along with “responsible gun owner ” statement. This testimony is hard to watch

      • Me too!! I am crying for Jodi and all that she lost because she loved the wrong man. As a domestic abuse survivor many of us think we can “FIX” the man. We tell ourselves a thousand “IF ONLYS” IF ONLY we love them more they wont talk to me like that, IF ONLY I cleaned the house better he wouldn’t get angry at me, IF ONLY I could make all his fantasies come true he wouldn’t look for other women, AND the list goes on and on. I see alot of those in Jodi….even in DEATH she was still loyal to him.

  88. Not good that Surmi pushed Jodi on why she purchased a gun after the 4th. Her first answer was because she was going to commit suicide. He kept pushing and then her response that she didn’t feel as safe going to the dessert with male acquaintances. That answer won’t sit well with the the jury.

        • Hi JC. I may have missed something in Jodi’s testimony during the time that the cop-sister–Samantha?–was sobbing. Are you referring to something spiritual in nature?

          • Jodi said after the memorial service they were at someone’s home (can’t remember whom) and Jodi wen into one if the bedrooms to “take some time for herself” and at while there he felt that Travis was there with her and I believe she said something to the effect that she felt he said that he wa ok and in a better place now…

      • Whadoo, I didn’t see any eye rolling hate in her comments. just shows we all see and read things differently based on your reaction.

        • There was most certainly no hate in my comment. I was literally amazed that she was crying and not rolling her eyes at the testimony jodi was givin at that moment regarding the memorial service. I was moved by both of their tears.

      • What is with you WHADOO ?? All I read here are people having a lot of empathy for a woman who has no empathy for anyone else ~

        Cut some slack yourself!

  89. Hit send before I finished…sorry. Not that the purchasing of a gun after the fact has anything to do with the charges that have been brought against Jodi.

  90. Surmi should be saying “as you sit here today, you had no other option”….correct….I’m confused by how he is addressing these issues. Anybody else?

  91. Seeing both of them crying just brought me to tears… such a sad, horrible situation for everyone. I am proud of Jodi today, she is really doing a good job, IMO.